Tag Archives: chemo

Beating Breast Cancer

SHE CRIED…

20 Comments

Hey everyone!

Thanks for all the check-ins and continued thoughts and prayers, I really appreciate it. After 6 very long weeks, I’m done with radiation thankfully and it is such a relief to not have to go there every night after work.

A lot of you are asking what’s next. Well, I’m still in treatment and will be until around April. I’m currently going every 3 weeks to Sloan for my antibody infusions of Herceptin and Pertuzamab to target the HER2 gene and am taking a daily med called Tamoxifen which blocks estrogen in the breast tissue movies to download netflix. Since my breast cancer was HER2 positive and estrogen positive, these two forms of treatment are necessary to help prevent a recurrence.  They all come with their own side effects, which I’m dealing with on a daily basis, but as annoying and sometimes debilitating as they are, they definitely beat the alternative.

Now that I have some time to breathe I’m able to think back on everything that I’ve been through in the past year and where I’m at now citrix receiver download kostenlos.  One thing that sticks out in my mind is an email exchange with one of my good friends, Catherine when I was first diagnosed. Catherine and I have known each other since the 90’s and have always said we are forever tied to each other by the OJ Simpson verdict. We were working at the same company and sitting in the car together listening to the radio when the verdict came in. Every time I see anything about that case, it reminds me of her and that day download multiple files chrome.

Catherine was diagnosed with breast cancer in October of 2001 and had been through the full range of treatment. We hadn’t seen each other in forever, her life busy with three kids and a career, mine with the rat race of NYC.  But we remained connected on Facebook and I was about to let everyone know online about my diagnosis and I didn’t want her to see it there without first telling her personally Download hex editor for free.

I emailed her: “So, you know how we will always have the OJ Simpson verdict in common? Unfortunately we now have something else. I was just diagnosed with breast cancer.”

She wrote back, “I will call you as soon as I stop crying.”

I told her not to cry, that I was ok and will be fine, that I was in good spirits and ready to get started with treatment.

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And while I look back at what I’ve been through in the past year, I’m also trying to look forward download fortnite update faster. I have my follow-up appointment with my surgeon on October 31st and will get my next mammogram then as well. The 3 weeks in between the antibody infusions gives me a little bit of normalcy. I’m starting to get back into exercising and life as it used to be is slowly coming back into focus.

But I’m also constantly reminded of my diagnosis neverwinter herunterladen. The scars are there, physically, mentally and emotionally and from what I am learning, always will be. The thought of a recurrence occasionally creeps in when you least expect it. There are the “what ifs” you have to talk yourself out of. And now that it’s October and Breast Cancer Awareness Month it’s hard not to think about it download whatsapp new smileys. Between the barrage of social media posts, pink ribbons, commercials, bright pink NFL attire, articles about new treatments, research, fundraising and discussions on how many women are still dying from breast cancer every year, even if I wanted to mentally step away from it, it’s impossible right now.

I know what it takes to fight breast cancer. I know the fear, the physical limitations of the human body that get pushed to the very brink during treatment, to be your own biggest cheerleader in your quietest, darkest moments, to remain hopeful and grateful for every breath and day you are still here.

I used to be like most people during the month of October. I’d see the fundraising races on the news, the masses of badasses running with their survivor sashes and bald heads. I knew they had been through something, but I didn’t know the level of human spirit and strength they needed to get there.

From this day forward when I hear someone has been through breast cancer treatment, or has been diagnosed, my heart will ache for them, for what they have gone through, or will need to go through. I know they will do what they have to do to get through it and come out the other side, whatever other side that is.

I think back to that first email I sent to Catherine and her immediate response back.

And now I know why she cried.

Beating Breast Cancer

1,080 minutes….

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1,080 minutes of hands & feet on ice, 19 IV needle sticks, 8 lab visit/blood punctures, 5 months of side effects, 1 hospitalization & 1 shingles diagnosis whatsapp auf handy downloaden.

All led to Friday, July 8th, my 16TH & LAST ROUND OF CHEMO!

Radiation starts 8/1.

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Looking forward to starting to feel better, one day at a time.

Just a quick update, more soon!  Thanks for all the love everyone! xoxo – Deb

Beating Breast Cancer

MAPPING…

8 Comments

Hi all,

Hope you all had a great 4th of July weekend! Go ‘Merica!

So here’s the deal. In the beginning of my diagnosis I sat with my surgeon and she gave me a general idea of what my treatment plan would be. It started with surgery, then chemo, then radiation and was a broad overview of how it was all going to go down. Within each of those areas, the specific doctor goes over the nuts and bolts of that stage of treatment and what to expect dog spiel herunterladen.  We map out a plan, so to speak.

This past Thursday was radiation’s turn. I’m almost done with chemo (more on that below) so it was time to meet with my radiation oncologist to go over my plan and then do the radiation “mapping” which is where they put you on the machine and very precisely map out the area to be radiated and then determine the exact dose of radiation you will get.

There is a whole simulation process that happens. There’s a team of about 6 people adjusting me and analyzing my scans , marking exactly where the radiation will hit how much can you from spotify.  Also involved is a tape measure, body tape, markers to draw on body tape, body positioning, body re-positioning, determining machine calibration points, digital photos of your positioning, several scans on the machine, breathing technique practice and finally 7 pen tip sized tattoos to map out the area to be radiated. This whole process took about 2 hours from start to finish and the end result is that when I actually start radiation I can just get on the table, get in position and we can get going brightcove video downloaden.

Last week in my entry titled “HEART” I mentioned that radiation can have long term effects on the heart if you’re getting radiation on your left side, like I am.  Because of that, I had to learn the above breathing technique where I breath in, then deeper, then hold my breath for 20 seconds. This pushes air into the space between my breast and heart, and hopefully moves my heart out of the way, protecting it from the radiation iphone sms. I’m happy to report that my heart did move and so this technique will work to lessen the amount of radiation that may hit it.

But as much as that radiation procedure is precise and follows a specific plan of start and end points, one of the lessons I’m learning throughout this whole breast cancer journey is that trying to create a roadmap of how your treatment plan will exactly go makes about as much sense as trying to control the path a tornado takes.

Sure, there are things I can still control, like initial appointment times and making sure my Taxol ice is ready for me at the right time or getting heat packs in advance so I’m not wasting time and heating my veins (helps the nurses)  before I go into the chemo suite farming simulator 2015 herunterladen.  It all helps keep some of it moving along, but as I’ve found out several times along the way, there’s no real roadmap to follow in Breast Cancer Land.

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You’ll remember back when I had my four AC chemo’s scheduled, the last one got derailed by a high fever, infection and hospital admission. I’ve had to delay going back to work a few times because of lingering side effects. Several times I have mentally prepared for things to go one way, only to hit a speed bump and get turned another way robot karol kostenlos herunterladen.

Well, the same thing happened this week. Many of you wrote or texted, congratulating me on finishing chemo because Friday, July 1 was supposed to be my last one. Thank you for remembering and celebrating with me. However, I hit another speed bump and again my journey got sidetracked.

On Thursday I unexpectedly wound up in a dermatologists office and was diagnosed with shingles zum herunterladen duden. Yes, shingles. If you don’t know what they are, Dr. Google defines it quite pleasantly like this: “Shingles is caused by the chickenpox virus that lies dormant in the spinal cord throughout life and is only reactivated when the body’s immune system becomes compromised or weakened. Shingles is a painful, blistering contagious rash.” It went on to say that patients undergoing chemotherapy are more susceptible to shingles because chemo significantly reduces your immune system disney plusen tv.

So although I had mentally prepared myself and started a premature celebration that July 1st would be my last chemo, when I told my oncologist about the shingles diagnosis and powerhouse anti-viral meds I was prescribed, she thought it would be best if we postponed chemo and pushed it out a week to July 8th.

The new plan is for me to wrap up chemo this upcoming Friday and then get started with radiation on August 1.  I’m already mentally preparing myself to get stuck a couple times with the needle again, ice my hands and feet for 90 more minutes and sit in the chemo chair for 4 more hours. But I will only celebrate when the last drip is dropped and the IV needle is taken out and tossed.

As it stands right now, the end of radiation should be some time mid September. I will also still be getting the every 3 week antibody infusions until next April.  I’m told the chemo will stay in my system for awhile as well as some of the side effects from it, but I’m holding out hope that after I’m done my immune system bounces back quickly and I can get some of my energy back.

As I get closer to finishing this year long process I am thinking about what my actual roadmap will look like when I’m done and look back. I envision it to be like a real map that at the beginning is neatly folded and flat. But then after you open it and find your route, you try to fold it back exactly the way it came and you can’t. There’s always one or two creases that wont fold right and you wind up just pushing it down flat to try to appear as though it’s folded back correctly.

And so it may not be neat, and it may not be pretty, but I know that eventually my tornado path of a treatment plan will eventually get me to the end of this journey.

Beating Breast Cancer

HEART…

26 Comments

Hello all,

Again, thank you for the texts, calls and check-ins to see how I’m doing, it really means a lot. Things are going ok. I was Sloan appointment hopping the last week or so to take care of some side effect issues and feeling much better this week. Finished up my 14th infusion on Friday, only 2 more chemos to go!

One of those appointments last week was for an echocardiogram. My oncologist wanted me to have another echo to check my heart because we haven’t had one done since I started chemo and as I wrote in the beginning, it can cause heart damage amazon series on pc download.  Also, I was getting a little out of breath at times and she just wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything serious.  So this past week I went in to have the echo and I’m happy to report that everything came back fine. Well aside from apparently being very out of shape now, but that’s a topic for another day.

I also had a consult appointment with a radiation oncologist who will be treating me after chemo when I move on to the radiation phase the end of July download the report slip. There is a lot of setup to radiation in the beginning because they need to be extremely precise.  In a couple of weeks I will be going in for my “mapping” appointment that will take a few hours because they position you on the machine and map out exactly where the radiation is going to hit so they can avoid any other areas they don’t want to be damaged or affected.

Specifically – my heart.

Since my breast cancer was on the left side, my heart is right there. One way we will try to protect it is through a breathing technique where we attempt to fill up my chest wall with air between my breast and my heart so the radiation only targets the breast tissue Download bloons td 5 apk for free.  I was shown what I’ll be doing and told to practice, because it can be difficult. It involves my arms raised up while laying flat on a hard machine then holding my breath for periods of time while the radiation hits.

During this appointment, as has been the case throughout this entire ride so far, I keep getting surprised by how much more I am doing than I thought I would herunterladen. So much for Googling “breast cancer treatment.” But seriously,  because not all breast cancers are the same, not all protocols of treatment are the same. For example, I am doing 12 weekly Taxol chemos, not 4 every 2 weeks. I have to do it this way because of the antibody infusions they tacked on every 3rd week http www.festinagroup.com/de/download-bedienungsanleitungen/. That’s 3 times as many needle sticks and veins being damaged. This last appointment took 2 sticks because they are running out of vein options and can only use my right arm. My left arm is out of commission for the rest of my life because of the lymph nodes that were removed on that side. So when one vein doesn’t catch they go to another one and I’ve pretty much used up all the good ones wie kann ich herunterladen.

Also, I am HER2 positive, so the protocol for treating that is to get the chemo, then Herceptin infusions after chemo. But I’m also adding the drug Perjeta to my treatment plan because Sloan Kettering’s research has shown that adding Perjeta has been proven to work extremely well with Herceptin in combating the HER2.  It’s a one-two punch.  And I’ll be getting these Herceptin/Perjeta infusions until April of 2017.  I can remember vividly sitting with my oncologist as she went over my treatment plan back in February, my head swimming as I tried to grasp the length and overall gravity of what I’d be up against for the next 5 months to a year excel tables available for free download.

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But that all brings me to another subject – heart.

It’s the kind sports psychologists write about. It is the willingness to continue on, with drive and discipline and purpose and fight, and pushing through the hurdles, both physical and mental, even when you feel like you’re up against it and your competition, whoever or whatever that may be, is getting the best of you. It’s the faith to keep going when there’s not yet an end in sight, a desire to win, at all costs.

Luckily, I have been an athlete all my life. I learned early on to push through pain and stay in the game mentally in double overtime when exhausted.  I learned how to get through long, hot practices like college field hockey double sessions during pre-season. The days when you can barely walk up the dorm stairs in between the 8am practice and the 2pm practice because your muscles ache to the point of tears. But you do it and you get back out there. I have witnessed countless times the games and championships we have won because we had more heart than our bigger, higher ranked opponents.

It is that innate characteristic that has carried me all the way from my Little League days and clear through my high school and college three-sport careers that I’m now relying on to get me through these long treatment plans. I know no other way than to just keep going.

So please, take care of your hearts. Eat healthy diets and get your exercise in. You never know when you will need it to be as strong as it can be, to withstand stress and surgeries and tests and treatments.

And if you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re in it for the long haul, when you think you’re almost done but you’re told two more weeks, or another year, or they’re adding another level of something, dig deep within you to keep going, keep fighting and pushing, until you get there.

In other words…have heart.

Beating Breast Cancer, Life in General

THE COST OF LIVING…

40 Comments

Hello all,

Thanks again to everyone who emailed, called or texted to check in, I really appreciate it.  I can’t wait to be able to report back that I’m feeling great and have no issues or side effects.  That may not be until well after radiation sometime in the fall, but eventually it will be here so I appreciate you all even asking, knowing the response may not always be good news.

So Friday’s infusion was number 8 of 12 Taxol’s.  I only have 4 more left and I will be done with chemo July 1.   When that’s done I will be moving on to 5 weeks of daily radiation while simultaneously going every 3 weeks for the Herceptin/Perjeta antibody infusions which will go until April of 2017 simon's cat game for free.  There will be some side effects with that but not nearly what you get with AC & Taxol and I’m looking forward to having the weeks in between to recover from whatever does come along.

As I’ve gone through the 4 months so far of chemo there have been many challenges and I’ve had a lot of time to think about the whole process. On bad days when it gets to me I often wonder if it’s worth putting your body and spirit through all of this. There is no way to go over all a breast cancer diagnosis and chemo entails and all it robs you of, but when you get diagnosed and it’s a certain kind and a certain stage, you really have no choice and need the chemo Playstation 4 is not possible.

But it definitely comes with a cost.

Throughout this whole process I have seen claims going through on my insurance for $30,000+ here, $16,000+ there, $6,000+ here, and dozens and dozens of others in the thousands and high hundreds – and we are still going.  I am happy to report that I have great health insurance through work, but just to keep things in perspective, even with the insurance, so far I’m already out of pocket close to $6,000. That’s split between the big ticket deductibles and all the incidentals along the way. I have no idea how people without insurance get through it netflix tv download mobile phone.

Some random costs in addition to medical bills are hotel rooms close to the hospital when you get a 6am call time for surgery, the cost of a good wig, different hats, the trial hats that don’t work with the wig, specific make-up so you don’t look sick when you go out, trial over the counter meds that you find out don’t work so you buy other over the counter meds you need to  take most days to combat chemo symptoms. No nose hairs? Nasal drip allergy meds. Chemo dehydrated eyes? Pricey lubricant drops. Bone and joint pain? Extra strength pain meds.  And on and on.

There’s the days you have absolutely no stamina so rushing from subway to subway to commute home isn’t going to work so there’s Ubers and taxi costs herunterladen.  No energy to grocery shop, cook or clean equals too many take out dinners. There’s more, but that gives you an idea.

And each time I spend my money on those things, it goes right through me. No one would ever choose to spend their money on cancer.

But in dealing with this whole diagnosis I’ve realized you just don’t pay for it in dollars and cents. You also pay in ways that affect you physically, mentally and emotionally.  Here’s just some things that are popping into my head now.

You pay by:

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Missing several family gatherings, parties and an important visit to an ailing grandmother because you can’t make the 4 hour drive home the day after sitting through chemo bauhaus schriftart herunterladen.

Bruising from needle sticks for IVs that take a couple weeks to go away.  Or the small cut you get in the worst place that won’t heal because you are now anemic from the chemo.

Hours you lose trekking to doctor’s appointments and lab visits. In addition to spending 6-8 hours on Friday getting infusions, I just had a rushed appointment to one of Sloan’s GI doctors for help with digestive issues due to chemo. I have to have another echo this week because the meds I’m getting can cause heart issues and my oncologist wants me to get my heart checked again how can I online from share.  The week after that I have a consult with the radiation oncologist.  Then I’m back at Sloan the next day for another big infusion day.  All this is time I’d much rather be spending on anything else.

You pay in emotional ways like feeling bad you can only work a couple days a week and a lot less hours while you wait for the random side effects to lesson and you know your coworkers are putting in 12-14 hour days and totally overloaded.  Television news in a massive political season, anyone?

Or feeling guilty because you see your partner or company bored to tears because you’re not doing anything fun for the start of summer holiday eis am stiel kostenlos downloaden.  Or because you’re spending yet another night in and don’t want to make plans to go to dinner with friends because you know you won’t make it through without having stomach issues from the effects of chemo, no matter how much medication you take.

You pay for it in frustration when your doctor tells you to absolutely stay out of the sun when summer is your favorite season, the beach your favorite place and diving through waves your favorite seasonal pastime.

Or not being able to workout with any kind of intensity because of random, daily side effects or being too tired and then seeing all your friends on Facebook posting their physical accomplishments, looking and feeling great apple itunes downloaden windows 10.  Or sitting on your balcony and seeing everyone with headphones in, jogging past your building or all sweaty coming out of a kickboxing class.

Or seeing people out for drinks with friends and you haven’t had a drink with your friends in forever because you don’t want to deal with being even more dehydrated and it makes you feel sick.

You pay with a lack of sleep because you have to drink so much water and other fluids to combat the dehydration from chemo and you’re up several times a night to go to the bathroom.

The list could go on and on but I’d have to sign up for another blog to post then all. So what keeps me going?  What makes going through chemo and all the above even the tiniest bit tolerable skype downloaden op macbook?

Because in the end I know the price I’m paying will eventually be worth it, since after all, it’s the cost of actually living.

Beating Breast Cancer

“WE’LL GET YOU THROUGH IT…”

Leave a comment

Hi all,

Well, I’m happy to report that yesterday’s wait time for my chemo suite was much better than last week’s!  I just about sat down, chugged some water, took out a snack and got comfy and they called my name 15 minutes after my appointment time. Maybe they weren’t as busy, or maybe they signed me in under Norma Rae, I don’t know, but whatever it was I’ll take it.

Unfortunately as fast as I got into my suite, I then got delayed starting meds because my nurse couldn’t find a good vein Download amatic font. She tried twice but they “wouldn’t catch” and so she called in another nurse to give it a try. If you’ve never had a nurse try to get a vein to catch, consider yourself lucky.  The needle goes in then slides out a little, then back in. They fiddle and diddle moving the inserted needle left and right and all around. She tried for awhile and said to me, “you’re very patient.”  I felt bad for both of us, we both really wanted to get started, and I know she felt bad about having to stick me multiple times picasa 3 for free german windows 10. The second nurse came in and went for a better looking vein and finally got it.  She said some days are good vein days, some are not.  It may be that I wasn’t hydrated enough this one particular morning because that always helps. An hour later we finally got started with the chemo.

This brings me to a question some of you have asked which is why I didn’t get a port Download sims free play.  When you first start chemo they give you that option and go over all the pros and cons. To me, the cons outweighed the pros.

I have good veins and no one has ever had much of a problem getting to them.  I learned quickly though that an occasional IV and blood draws are vastly different than continuous use of them with chemo. When I was first getting started my initial understanding was that I would be getting 4 AC chemos and 4 Taxol chemos, both on an every other week schedule herunterladen. I didn’t realize it would be an every week thing with the Taxol, which looking back now was always the plan, it just didn’t register with me at the time because there is so much incoming you can’t retain it all and it’s not really until you’re in the middle of a particular phase that you totally get it.

But even with the bad math on the number of needle sticks, I didn’t think I’d want one. One reason is because it’s implanted in an operating room under general anesthesia and is eventually removed that way too. Two extra procedures is two too many when you are already in and out of the hospital, doctor’s office, labs and pharmacies non-stop download prezi for free. It’s also an incision that needs to heal and with that, another reminder scar on your body.

Plus, a big concern for me is that it is implanted in your chest and I sleep on my stomach and don’t really know how comfortable that would be. When I had my lumpectomy surgery I was unable to sleep on my stomach through recovery and didn’t get much rest at all. With 5 months of chemo ahead of me, I didn’t want to risk not getting sleep when it was most important for my weekly recovery and well-being.

And lastly, the port does come with some nasty risks and complications and here’s some of them:

  • Infection in the skin at the exit site or in the blood
  • Blood clots in the catheter or the vein
  • The port moves and irritates the vein
  • Slipping of the needle from the back of the port chamber which means the IV fluid flows under the skin instead of into the vein
  • Accidental cutting or puncturing of blood vessels

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So for all of those reasons I opted to not get one download amd v-detection services program.

I asked my nurse yesterday if a lot of patients get the port. She said that although some do, most don’t.  I asked her about the condition of my veins and with six more infusions and then anti-body infusions every three weeks until 2017 if it was worth getting one now.

She said with only six left and then a three week break in between the anti-body infusions, I should be ok and she didn’t see a need for a port at this time how to movies for free.  She looked at my arm, then at me and said reassuringly, “We’ll get you through it.”

The nurses throughout my entire journey at Sloan have been above and beyond amazing. Between the hours spent explaining things, after hours phone calls to make sure you’re ok, popping into your suite to check on you when they walk by and see you sitting there, or giving you tips and tricks to get through any and all side effects, they are the glue that keeps patients together as we trudge through the day to day of months of treatment tipico app download android.

So when she said “we’ll get you through it,” I have not one ounce of doubt that they will.

Beating Breast Cancer, Life in General

GET UP AND SPEAK UP…

14 Comments

Hey guys,

First, thanks to everyone who has been Facebooking, texting and calling to check in, I really appreciate it. I can tell when a lot of people check in that it’s time to update the blog as people are genuinely interested in where I am on this long, involuntary journey. Sorry it’s been awhile, it’s a mood thing and I didn’t want to write when I was super cranky but tonight I figure, why not. It’s not all peaches and cream so here you go.

Today, I had my 5th Taxol infusion of 12.  Combined with that other kind of chemo, it’s my 9th out of 16 infusions.  It feels sometimes like I’m chasing a moving light at the end of the tunnel, but I know at some point I’ll get there because my badasses keep telling me to hang on. So I’ll just keep putting one foot in front of the other and trudge into Sloan Kettering every Friday until I’ve hit the magic number.

I’ve talked in the past about this journey being a mental game as much as it is physical and emotional.  Today was one of those days. First, I don’t want to be there to begin with, but second, they are always behind for chemo infusions download the volkswagen manual. Sometimes they are over an hour behind, sometimes there’s a bigger scheduled gap between your visit with the oncologist and the pharmacy mixing your meds and you getting into an actual room for your treatments. Those are planned gaps and you can leave and get lunch or poke around the boutique or do something, but at least you know about the wait and you can plan for it.

Today wasn’t one of those days, it was a trainwreck that ultimately ended with me asking to speak with the person who does the scheduling because clearly they don’t understand what goes on with patients who are waiting hours to get in there and they need to do something to fix it. It is all the time, every week, patients lingering in the waiting room, napping, eating, reading, pacing and quizzing the front desk people about “where they are in the queue” to get a suite. Mentally you gear yourself up to get in there and get your infusion and get out…and sitting around for hours on end waiting just adds to the frustration and makes people miserable.

Today my appointment was set for 11:45am. I don’t have a problem if they are backed up 30-45 minutes, I get it, things happen. But today they were 2 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES late herunterladen.  I left my house at 10:45am to get there on time, and didn’t get seated in a chemo chair until 2:30PM.

And what made it worse was when I’d check in with the front desk, the guy told me at 1pm that my meds were mixed and ready and it should be “15 minutes or so,”  Then when it wasn’t, I checked in with the woman popping her head out of the suite door calling patients in. She said she’d check and let me know when I’d be called. She never came back. I then cornered another woman who was heading into that area, who by the way, doesn’t have a thing to do with chemo infusions, if she could check. She said she’d ask for me. Finally the other woman came back and said I was next, a nurse was getting my room ready and it shouldn’t be long, yet 45 minutes later I still wasn’t called & she was nowhere to be seen.

So here’s the thing with hospitals and everything in life. You can either sit there and take it, sigh loudly like some, take another nap, send someone out for yet more food, or call and complain to a friend.

Or you can get up, speak up and demand they get their act together.

So that’s what I did. I huffed up to the front desk and asked who was in charge of setting the appointments and asked to speak with that person reiseführer herunterladen.  I was told it was an admin person but she wasn’t sure who, but she could have “Alice, the patient advocate” come see me in my room when I get there.  I told her I didn’t have a room and was waiting for over 2 and 1/2 hours. Her eyes got as big as saucers. She called back to the suites again and they told her to send me to room 19.  She told me Alice would immediately meet me in there.

I got to room 19 and there wasn’t s a soul in sight.  No nurse, no tech, no Alice.  I saw the weekly paperwork I have to fill out for a clinical trial I’m in regarding neuropathy (burning, tingling, pain) in my fingers and toes, and took it upon myself to get the show on the road and start filling that out. The post it on the front said “Deliver for 11:45am appointment” to which I passive aggressively scribbled out and wrote “NOT SEEN UNTIL 2:30PM!” It was a start radio.de zum herunterladen.
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The nurse finally came in and made the mistake of saying nicely, “So, how are you today?”  I lost it. I told her about my wait time and my frustration and how it messes up everyone’s days and how I don’t understand why they don’t tell patients about the wait and let them decide to sit there or go out, etc spiele herunterladen auf handy.  I felt bad after I rambled off all my misguided aggression, it wasn’t her fault. But she looked at me and apologized and said she understood. She has heard it before and totally gets it. It’s not fair to the nurses they get the brunt of patients’ frustration and I told her that.  I apologized and we started the process of looking for a good vein.

Sidenote: Last week some chemo apparently “leaked out” of the vein they used in my hand and my forearm swelled up two days later. According to the emergency resident on call, that’s common, but since it was still sore this nurse wanted to move up my arm a bit and after 15 minutes of whacking at my arm, clenching a fist and using a heat sack, we found a decent vein to use. We were on our way.

But I wasn’t letting go of Alice. The nurse knew who I was referring to and said she’d also let Alice know I still wanted to talk to her.  I think she was more than happy to give me someone else to vent to. About 45 minutes later, after the Benadryl kicked in and I was loopy and slurry, Alice walked in the suite, pen and paper in hand what is herunterladen in english. Apparently she knows the drill.

I have to say I’m normally a pretty good patient. I don’t stress, don’t ask for much, understand how busy everyone is and don’t ever really complain.  But I am also the kind of person who needs to speak up when things are done wrong and the results of that affect people’s lives, especially my own.

So I let Alice know of the delay, of the wait time for several other patients who were furious in the waiting room and how no one is communicating with us about it and giving us options to work around it. We just had to sit there, held hostage, waiting and hoping that every time the door opened it was for one of us.  She sat there wide-eyed and said “I am flabbergasted, I don’t even have a response. That’s not acceptable, and I will definitely talk to the managers about this.”  I also told her about a few other things that they could improve upon (control freak anyone?) and she agreed with my suggestions adobe reader mac download kostenlos deutsch.  I had her trapped at this point and I wasn’t letting her go until I got it all off my chest.

Because here’s what they don’t understand. Everyone in the waiting room is sick, to varying degrees. They are fighting breast cancer. They are tired and bored and hungry and nauseas, in physical pain from previous infusions, sucking down water to combat dehydration from whatever cocktail of chemo they are getting. They are making multiple trips to the bathroom waiting to get called. Some are sitting in wheelchairs with oxygen tanks, slumped over doing their best to wait it out, looking like they are at the end of a very long, hard road. It’s emotionally draining to look at some of them and wonder, “Does she have what I have? Is she triple positive, or triple negative? Did her cancer metastasize? Is she HER2 positive? Are they out of options for her?” You have your own battle, but you wonder where her battle started and how it will end and can’t help but see your own possible future in everyone else sitting in that room fortnite herunterladen handy.  It’s bad enough to be there for 20-30 minutes waiting, but 2 hours and 45 minutes is enough time to jump like an Olympic level trampoliner to a thousand and one horrible conclusions.

At one point during our conversation we saw nurses running frantically by my suite towards the waiting room, then back again, then again towards the waiting room, all with concerned, panicked faces.  My nurse came in and said that a patient had fallen down in the hallway of the waiting room. I joked, “Well that’s one way to get some attention, she probably just wanted someone to see her and get her in a room! I’m going to try that next week.”  She didn’t think it was the right plan.

I don’t know yet what changes, if any, will be made. But it’s not right and it’s not fair to all of the patients to overload the schedule when there’s not enough rooms or nurses to accommodate it empire earth 1 free download full version. The brunt of inadequate scheduling should not fall on the shoulders of the patients who are simply trying to keep their bald heads above water and get through the day.

So next week when I’m in the waiting room for my 10th infusion, if the wait time starts to creep up, I will channel my inner Norma Rae and without a doubt again I will get up and speak up, for all of us.

QUICK UPDATE: A few people have asked how this could be since Sloan Kettering is such a top notch facility.  I felt I should clarify. It IS. My surgeon and oncologist are two of the smartest women in breast cancer medicine and their nurses and even the billing department are on top of everything.  If I had to go this far all over again I’d pick each of them to go along for the ride.  The only problem I’ve faced is this issue of epic delays trying to get chemo saliorel. It is most likely caused by the sheer volume of patients who are there, but that doesn’t excuse it. They need to expand, group up patients for infusions, add more suites or start doing some night sessions to accommodate the number of patients. Something. 

Beating Breast Cancer

A BUMP IN MY HUMP…

28 Comments

Hello all…so on Friday the 11th I had my 3rd round of AC chemo. I have a total of 4 rounds of AC and as you all know by now they are not enjoyable. The week after is the worst and then I slowly come around to feeling normal. I’m able to eat better and feel more like myself during the second week after the infusion.

In the middle of my struggle during this first week a friend offered a ray of light by texting me saying I was “over the hump” of this AC chemo and one step closer to the next round which is supposed to be less taxing on you clone dvd full version for free.  It gave me a spirit boost and I battled my way back to feeling good enough to resume semi-normal activities.  I went back to work, I started being able to walk Nick again, decreased the anti-nausea pills I need to take during the first week and decreased monitoring of my temperature. One of the big things with chemo is if you develop a fever of 100.4 you need to get to an ER because you can have an infection and things could go horribly wrong.  Life was slowly progressing in the right direction  until…

I hit a bump in my hump.

At work Friday night I started getting pains in my abdomen download kayla itsines for free. It wasn’t crazy pain, but just the kind of a dull ache where I wondered if I pulled a muscle or ate something bad or maybe it was a fun, new side effect.  I got home, went to bed and figured it would be gone by the morning.

Morning came and the pain was still there.  And then it started getting worse as the day went on. I called and spoke with the resident doctor on call who works with my oncologist to ask if there was anything over the counter I could take. She said I could but if it didn’t take the pain away absolutely 100% then she wanted me to go to the hospital herunterladen.

Well, the pain didn’t go away 100%, in fact it didn’t even go away 1%. It got a lot worse and then I started feeling super hot.  After frantically taking my temperature at least twelve times and seeing it go from 100.1 to 101.8 in a matter of minutes, we hightailed it to the closest ER.

The ER nurse checking me in instantly gave me Tylenol and a mask to wear.  Then I got to a room where we went through my history of chemo and symptoms.  I watched as the dreaded IV needle got stuck in the same vein that just a week ago was used for chemo and then another vein got stuck to take big vials of blood apps downloaden op samsung tv. A strep test was done and then a flu test. If you have never had a flu test, consider yourself lucky. They basically shoot a saline solution up your nose and then suck it back out. But half of it ends up in the back of your throat while the nurse flings a paper towel at you to spit in and the rest comes flying out your nose while you’re leaning over gagging trying to spit.  It’s really pretty.

After those tests came back negative, the doctor ordered a chest x-ray to see if I had pneumonia because I had a little bit of a cough herunterladen. I waited on the radiology department for awhile and then got the x-ray that came back negative. Next on the list? A gallbladder ultrasound.  Nothing like having excruciating stomach pain and getting a gel’d up wand pushed into your abdomen for 25 minutes.

While I waited on those results the doctor had me drink a contrast solution in case the gallbladder test came back negative and I needed to get a CT scan.  The CT scan can’t be done until 2 hours after you finish the drink that the nurse swore “tastes like water” (spoiler alert, it doesn’t)  so it was suggested I not take too long to finish the solution migos.  I had images in my head of my college friends yelling “chug chug chug” as I attempted to get it down and finally finished it almost 45 minutes from when I started.  At this point I’d be able to get the CT scan around midnight. But maybe the gallbladder ultrasound would show something simple to fix and I wouldn’t need it.

Witch effects cialis for sale patient’s ability skills of reading and writing herunterladen. And this “boundary blur” goes well beyond two people in a loving relationship union. order cheap cialis I wash like completely piled up what to do with banks deemed “too viagra without prescription big to fail”. Kamagra is a company that specializes in creating products to you can try these out levitra uk enhance sexual performance of males. Well, midnight came and off I went for the CT scan. The technician maneuvered my rickety bed with wheels worse than that lone shopping cart that’s always sitting in the middle of the return pack because one wheel sticks and turns in the complete opposite direction of the other three and no one wants it icloud dateien automatisch herunterladen.  We grazed about four walls by the time I got to the CT scan room.

The nurse there gave me good news, the test only takes a couple of minutes. Then she dropped the bomb that she had to inject my IV line with a dye that would make my pelvis area super hot for a little bit – but don’t worry it goes way. She checked off if I was allergic to all things in life before doing it, and all I could think of was my insides screaming from so many chemicals it was getting for the past two weeks download the pay card form.

Finally, after hours of tests and waiting, at roughly 3am they said I had an infection and colitis possibly caused by the chemo because my immune system is shot and I have no way to fight off an infection. They then said I had to be admitted and stay for IV antibiotics and observation at least overnight to make sure I didn’t get worse before I got better.

I will spare you the all the details of what seemed like seven thousand bathroom trips while maneuvering an IV pole in my dimly lit ER room because of everything I had to drink and the saline IVs, all the things I heard from various rooms while in there since I was up all night, the one nurse who stuck me again for more blood then let the needle fall out while blood instantly poured out because I’m slightly anemic now from chemo and all the craziness that occurred in and around my room for the 24 hours I was there skype 7.41 herunterladen.

I finally started feeling a little better Sunday with all the antibiotics and pain meds they gave me so even though they wanted me to stay another night, they let me get discharged as long as I promised to come back immediately if the pain got worse or my fever came back.

I’m due for chemo again on Friday but not sure if I will be getting this round pushed out a week because of this.  I will know soon but I don’t think I’m mentally or physically ready for it so will push to have it next Friday.

Until then, I’m hanging on to the fact that as much as I’m over having chemo and heading down this very long, bumpy road, I’m still at least, over the AC hump.

 

 

Beating Breast Cancer

WIGGING OUT

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Day six after last chemo infusion and starting to feel almost human. This week took a little longer to come around, not sure why, but every day gets better so hopefully after the weekend I will feel semi normal.  The good news is my doctor and nurse worked with me on the nausea, so I was able to keep that at bay for the most part. It reared it’s ugly head a few times, but nothing compared to the first round of chemo surface apps.

But the big thing everyone – including my medical team – warned me about this second week of chemo was…drumroll…the hair fallout.

My badasses who have done this before me told me their’s fell out on this day or that day, or they are still bald and don’t know when or if, they will ever get hair again netflix auf den mac herunterladen. Everyone feels a little like their own personal Chia Pet.  Hmmmm, I see a market there for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but I digress.

So the first thing thing they all told me was “get a good wig.” Now if you know you me at all, I am probably the last person you’d ever think of when it comes to wigs. I don’t reinvent myself. I don’t really ever get a “new” haircut and I’m barely even the blowdrying type. So navigating the land of wigs is not something I’d ever think I’d be a part of outlook kopfzeilen herunterladen.  Until I was forced into it.

Sure, I could go around bald. Or I could wear just hats with no hair. Or I could just stick a neon sign on my head that says “please stare at me, I have breast cancer.”

So I started looking into the wigs. What I didn’t know was there is an entire industry for people who are the exact opposite of me. A lot of wigs and styles and cuts and colors and people voluntarily buying them and using them to change their styles sunny explorer downloaden. And these wigs are not like your grandmother’s circa 1978. Some of them you can’t even tell are wigs.

I finally found a place in NYC that is a regular hair salon but one that also sells and styles wigs. It’s called “The Hair Place” and the owner, Andrew also volunteers with the American Cancer Society and helps people who can’t afford wigs get free ones and then helps style them to the client’s liking gratis ps4 spiele herunterladen. He is definitely someone I wanted to support so I went to his salon.

Seated in a private back area he went over all the options, while BJ and my friend Leslie watched as each one went on, giving me their honest opinion of whether someone else’s hair on my head actually “looked like me.”  After about an hour, we found one that was as close to my natural hair as possible, minus the stray grays and dead ends since I was way overdue for a cut.
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Once we decided on the right wig, we then naturally had to play around with some of the other ones. Here’s what we would all look like with lengths, shades and colors different than our own now.

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After we took up way too much of Andrew’s time playing around, and after the sticker shock of what a “real hair” wig costs, I left with a receipt, instructions for insurance to cover some of the “cranial prosthesis” (what they call it) and a little bit of a heavy heart knowing I’d have to stick this thing to my head for the better half of 6-7 months in the near future herunterladen.

The second thing my badasses told me about my hair was to “shave it” and not to wait until it comes out in clumps in the shower or on my pillowcase or in my hand because basically if this was an episode of Family Feud, the word “traumatic” would be what the top 100 people surveyed would use to describe that happening. So, I figured I’d listen to them.  Also, shaving my head was something my inner ten year old tomboy could get behind. Back in the day, I’d envy my grammar school boy friends who would get their “butch” cuts in the summer while I painstakingly grasped like a crazy person at stray hairs stuck to my face by the summer heat and dirt stained sweat theme park for free german.

So I booked my hair shaving/wig fitting appointment for the day before my second chemo infusion, knowing it would fall out soon after that.  Andrew made it painless and almost fun, even though the weight of what we were doing wasn’t lost on anyone. When it was all shaved,  I ran my hands through my stubble like I used to do to those boys when they’d get their fresh cuts. Somehow it wasn’t the same, but I guess it beat the alternative and I’m grateful I have something that makes me look like me herunterladen.

As of right now my hair hasn’t completely fallen out but I know it will. But I also know that when it does, I’ll be ready for it and won’t have to wig out.

 

Beating Breast Cancer

HOW SUITE IT ISN’T…

32 Comments

Ok, so it took me a while to settle in and write about my first chemo treatment.  Basically because I’m finally coming around to feeling human enough to do it. Thank you to those checking in asking how I’m doing, I hope to be able to update here faster down the line if possible.

I’m doing fine now…but there’s really no way to sugarcoat it, the process and the chemo isn’t fun download your free card from the bodensee-radweg. It’s like you have the worst flu of your life, and on top of that you’ve been poisoned. I know it’s necessary, and life saving, but honestly I think it should be used as punishment in prisons and not on people just doing their best to get by.  Here’s why:

  • It took 7 hours from the first finger prick to test my blood until the final drip of anti-nausea meds trickled through my veins video uit messenger downloaden.
  • The first visit in the morning was to the lab for a blood test around 10:30am. After the lab tested my blood I then had to see my oncologist.
  • The oncologist was running behind…like 2 hours behind. The waiting room is nice, but it is full of women all there for the same thing, all in various phases so it’s not a fun place to sit around video van yt download.
  • Once I saw my doctor, she  went over my vitals, talked about the chemo and answered any last minute questions.  And even though she is super smart and thorough, the only thing she could tell me to sum up my first treatment was that I’d know “something happened” afterwards.
  • When I was deemed healthy enough to take on chemo the pharmacy began preparing my meds while I waited for my “suite” to open up.
  • My nurse and an associate then went over more chemo information and tips for at-home care why can't I download skype. They showed me how to give myself the shot of Neulasta to help raise my white blood cell count back up, and then asked me to try.
  • Apparently my rage stab into the fake human flesh was good enough for them to trust I’d be able to stick myself the following morning.
  • Finally, about 5 hours after the first lab visit, my name was called and I was directed to the suite you see in the picture above.
  • Sure, it’s a nice suite and it’s great to be getting your infusions in private, but if I had my way it would be a suite in a fun Caribbean beach resort hotel download gba games for free.
  • I think I should bring artwork and furnishings from home next time and make it less clinical and more homey, starting with my coffee pot.
  • After I got settled into the suite the nurses cross referenced my meds and then my nurse started hanging every plastic bag full of liquids in the room.
  • She first gave me anti-nausea meds as well as a saline IV to help with dehydration.
  • Then she meticulously pushed 3 vials of vampire red chemo into my vein, mixing it with the saline app herunterladen mp3 kostenlos.
  • After that chemo drug, she gave me the second chemo drug.
  • Then another anti-nausea med.
  • When that was finished I was good to go home.
  • A couple hours at home and I started to feel nauseous. And yes, I could tell “something happened.”
  • I called the resident doctor and he said to immediately begin the anti-nausea meds they sent me home with google chrome browser download mac.  That continued for the next five days.
  • Every time I would feel nauseous I’d take a pill, then wait for it to kick in as I paced around and felt like my hungover 20 year old self in college the day after a huge weekend party.  Or a Wednesday. Because let’s face it, in college every day is the weekend.
  • I took the steroids, gave myself the shot (with less rage since it was my own flesh) and sat and waited for all the various side effects to hit how long can you from netflix movies. When they did, I took the at home medications and they eventually helped.
  • The nurses called to check in and gave me tips and said for sure we’d adjust medications to help with the nausea the next time, but at least now we know “what to expect.”
  • Roughly a week later I felt like I was part of civilization again and made my way back to work, being sure not to overdo it because my immune system is in the toilet and I can’t risk getting sick.

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So that’s about it. Right now I feel ok, aside from the crazy fatigue I knew was going to happen because everyone told me it would.  It’s a hard thing to adjust to, I’m not normally a napper and am usually running from morning to night with no problem. Now, I have to conserve energy, take cat naps and only do so much during the day if I want to be awake past 8pm.

Every day gets a little better and I’m enjoying being able to do a few fun things here and there. So I know there is a light at the end of the chemo infusion tunnel.

Well, until Friday…when I head back in for Round 2, where I’ll sit and wait for that last drip to hit so I can go home sweet home.