EASY…

Hey everyone!

Well to sum it up, this every day after work thing with radiation treatment certainly takes up a lot of time! Thank you for all the texts, Facebook posts and emails with all your support, they mean a lot and help me get through the long days.

Some of you have asked me about radiation and how different it is from chemo, if there are side effects, what goes into it, how my skin is doing, etc. Here’s a bit of what it entails…

Right now I am a little over midway through it.  I have 30 treatments, or 6 weeks of radiation. I am finished with week 4 and have 12 treatments left.  Two days are added into a 7th week because one day on my first week I had a “dress rehearsal” with no actual radiation and then another night after trekking all the way over there, the treatments that night had to be cancelled because the computer system that “tracks the breath hold” was down herunterladen. They tried to get it back up while we were there, but then it was taking too long so they told all the patients who were left for the night to go home.

So as of right now, by mid-September I will be done with radiation.

At the same time as a couple of my radiation appointments, I also have my antibody infusion at a different Sloan building. It definitely makes for a very long day.  The last time I had to do them back to back, I started with the infusion at 2pm to check-in. You have to check in an hour earlier than your appointment time because the pharmacist won’t mix one of the meds until you show up. So already there is an hour built in to wait.

Then my 3pm infusion time was really delayed, so I got into a suite around 5pm.  By the time they confirm who I am, find a good vein, get the IV in and another nurse comes in to cross-check that the meds are correct and for me (they are super careful at Sloan which is great) another 20-30 minutes goes by java 7 herunterladen.  Then each antibody takes 30 minutes to drip after the nurse switches them out. So there are a lot of variables as to why it takes the time it does. But getting in so late was stressful because I had to be at my radiation appointment a couple blocks away at 6:45pm.  And my plan to eat in between appointments went out the window since I didn’t get out of my infusion suite until abut 6:30pm.  One definition of irony – when your doctors tell you to keep your stress level down, but then the health facility you’re at to get well is what stresses you out.

Anyway, while I was getting my last infusion, the nurse was smacking at my veins and trying to get one to wake up enough to get an IV in. We were chatting about chemo and the antibodies and I told her i was a little stressed about time since I had to leave as soon as we were done to go over for radiation.

She then said “Well, at least that’s easy.”

I was sort of taken aback by her comment because as she said it I was trying desperately not to scratch my red, irritated itchy chest while simultaneously dreading sitting around in that waiting room and then the trek back through the city before getting on a packed, hot subway ride that would hopefully get me home before 9pm herunterladen.

I replied, “Well, I wouldn’t say it’s easy. For one it’s every single day after work, the table is hard as a rock and cold steel and…”

She cut me off and said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I just meant that I have had patients tell me it is easy compared to chemo.”

For some, this acquisition de viagra is a very embarrassing situation and why not? Women will not be satisfied and it can put great strain on the relationship of a couple. What you online cialis have to be careful about though is that the site you order from be safe as far as payment gateways are concerned. The medicine is cialis tablets online easy to use as it involves an insertion of a small group of islet cells in the liver citrix workspace app herunterladen. What is the common dosage of kamagra for male impotence? The dosage of Kamagra or kamagra jelly depends on your condition and your health. the best viagra I told her, “It definitely is, yes. Radiation is easier, but it’s not easy.”

I know what she meant, and I tried to make her not feel bad for saying it, which I think she did.  Plus, she was holding the IV needle about to poke the only vein that’s been usable in the past few weeks, so I wanted her to concentrate on that and not about saying something stupid to a patient.

But it got me thinking about this whole process. For me, radiation is definitely nowhere near as hard to handle as chemo but it does have its side effects calendar download excel for free. I’m pretty tired now after 4 weeks of running around and the actual radiation that causes fatigue.  I go every day after work (some go before) which takes about 30-40 minutes to get there. It entails rushing to the train, waiting for another train if you miss it, then hiking across the city for 20 minutes each way,  waiting after checking in – sometimes an hour or two to get seen – putting lotion on 2-4 times a day, going in earlier one day a week for a checkup with my radiation oncologist and forcing myself not to scratch incredibly itchy patches of irritated skin every minute of the day, etc.

And as for the treatment itself, here’s how it works. You check in at the front desk and wait for your name to be called. When it is, you grab a key, go into a small locker room, put your belongings in a locker and change into a hospital gown.  You then go into another waiting room until the radiation therapist comes to get you. Then you go into a cold room and get on a hard, steel table. Your arms go up into stirrups and you take down the hospital gown so your breast is exposed to the radiation beams and also whoever the radiation therapists are that night geogebra version 5 herunterladen. I have a team of 4 therapists, but sometimes they have other people covering for them.  Some are male, some are female. It’s a hospital setting so you know they have seen it all, but it still takes a little getting used to. They take a Sharpie, mark your tattoo spots a little better and then line you up perfectly on the table where you have to try to remain in position as much as possible.  They have you lined up to the millimeter.

The therapist then steps out of the room and talks to you through an intercom, coaching you on the breath technique. If your breast cancer was on your left side, you hold your breath until the radiation stops. This moves your heart out of the way of the radiation beam fritz fon c5 ringtones. They don’t want it to hit anything other than the breast tissue it is targeting. Then the machine moves to another position and you start over again. I do this four times, since they are hitting four different areas. The actual radiation part on the table typically takes about 15-20 minutes most nights. On one random night a week they have to take additional images to make sure you’re still lined up right and everything looks good.  So that night is about 40 minutes on the table.

To put it in perspective, one woman I have been sitting around with in the waiting room most nights said she’d take another month of chemo over the grind of daily radiation navi software autoradio sd map.  I almost got nauseous just hearing her say that.  I wouldn’t go that far – but that should give you an indication of how not easy radiation is.

Over the weekend the concept of what’s easy came up again. I was chatting with one of my best friends from college.  She goes for her mammograms regularly and I told her to make sure she also asks for an ultrasound.  I didn’t know this before but often mammograms can miss breast cancer, especially in women with dense breast tissue.  I know two people now who had clear mammograms, but later on an ultrasound showed a tumor.  It is not a one size fits all disease. It comes in all different shapes and sizes, different markers, different treatments needed to kill it, different types of tumors and different levels and stages solitaire download windows 7 kostenlos. So if you are going for your mammogram, fight for an ultrasound too.

She said she does get ultrasounds, but “it’s a pain” because you have to then wait another 20 minutes or more after getting your mammogram, then get the ultrasound and it drags out the appointment that much longer.  You probably know where I’m going with this.

As many of you have been following this blog from the beginning, you have seen most of what it takes to fight breast cancer and I’m sure have pretty much gathered at this point that no part of it is easy. That is a big reason why I’m sharing the experience here, to help you understand why it’s so important to get your mammograms and also do your self exams.  The earlier you catch something, the easier it is to fight it.

I know women who had a lumpectomy and that’s it. No chemo, no radiation, just medication after download pdf edit.  Another friend had a lumpectomy and 4 weeks of radiation. If you catch it at Stage 0 and it hasn’t yet spread you have a lot less work ahead of you. In Stage 0 the “abnormal cells” haven’t left the milk duct, therefore no lymph nodes need to be removed which makes surgery and recovery that much easier.  If you remember, I had four nodes removed and one was positive, which moved me into Stage 2 and the fear that cancer cells could have moved into the rest of my body. Another woman I am friendly with now at Sloan had 12 lymph nodes removed and has to do occupational therapy weekly to help straighten her arm all the way.  So again, early detection is the key to not just an easier time fighting it, but also a better chance of survival.

So to those of you reading this who have yet to get their mammogram scheduled or don’t want to add an ultrasound or forget to do self exams because you “just don’t have the time” right now or can’t remember to do it…I get it. I was you. I know finding time to sit on hold to make the appointment, getting in the car or on the train to get to the facility, taking the morning or a whole day off from work and possibly missing one of your kid’s events to do it can seem like a major pain in the ass and too time consuming.

But trust me when I tell you, compared to what you have to go through if you let a tumor sit in there to grow – the mammogram/ultrasound part is the only part of this whole process that’s easy.

SAYING NO…

Hello all,

Sorry for the delay, been sorting out life without chemo and enjoying the break before my Herceptin/Perjeta infusion this Friday and the start of radiation on August 1.  Radiation will be every day, Mon-Fri until the middle of September. That nap I keep saying I need?  I may be more like a bear hibernating at the end of it all Download games for free full version german windows 10 offline.  🙂

I have to say though, not having to get chemo anymore is a great feeling. When I got my last Taxol infusion on July 8th, it was a huge mental mountain I had gotten to the top of.  It’s an odd feeling when you know you don’t have to endure those chemicals anymore. As much as they are needed to kill off any cancer cells that may have been hiding in my system, and I’m grateful to have had all the chemo to attack them, to know you don’t have to subject your body to those chemicals again is a big relief download stranger things.  And to not have to deal with the side effects of those chemicals is an even better feeling.

But even though mentally I’m past the chemo, I had to realize, sometimes the hard way, that physically I’m not there yet.  Just because the last of the Taxol dripped into my veins  about 3 weeks ago doesn’t mean my body is in synch with my mind in recovery. According to my badasses who have come before me, it is going to take a few months before I’ve got my stamina and energy back close to 100% office downloaden gratis.

Which leads me to the reason for this blog and one word that I have had to use more in these past 7 months of treatment than I think I’ve used in my entire life.

“NO.”

During this entire process, from diagnosis to now, there have been things people have asked me to do and I had to say no because there was no other choice and it was physically impossible to do them.  Those days when I was flat out on the couch and even answering a phone call would take too much energy you can download facebook videos. Or when going out for a quick lunch would have wiped me out for the rest of the day, or when someone wanted to visit and it meant putting on a smile and the wig for hours longer than I had in me.

And at times I even had to say no to myself. Like when I wanted to try to squeeze in an errand before going into work, but didn’t because I knew it meant being run down by the end of the night wrestling musik kostenlos downloaden. Or the long walk I wanted to try when it was way too hot and muggy. Or thinking just maybe I could work until 1am with the rest of my show team or hang on at the end of a 6 day work week for another 12 hour day when the rug got pulled out from under us by breaking news.

I have to constantly remind myself that my immune system is not where it needs to be and to pull back because doing too much could very easily make me sick or land me back in the hospital memoji stickers.  It can be frustrating, but it’s necessary to keep a balance in order to continue to get well.
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And honestly, saying no when you have all those physical limitations is easy. But saying no when you just don’t want to do something, or someone asks you to put their needs over your own is a lot harder. There are thousands of articles from psychologists and spiritual gurus who all share their input on why it is so hard to do.

But here’s what I have learned in the past few months herunterladen. When you are diagnosed with a life threatening illness and you have gone through the process of actually fighting for your life, saying no becomes a lot easier. There is now an immense spiritual power in it.

In the past, I felt like I had to explain why I couldn’t do something. As if just not wanting to do it wasn’t a good enough reason java 32 bit kostenlos downloaden. Almost like I had to have something else going on at the same time and it gave me a reason why I couldn’t do it. I’m sure you all feel the same way sometimes. As if you owe an explanation as to why you can’t do something. I have been there.

Now, I just say no.  And here’s what makes it easy for me.  When faced with a breast cancer diagnosis, you learn very quickly that no one is promised a full, long life.  It now becomes clearer than ever that you don’t know how much time you have here on Earth.  And when you beat it through surgery, chemo and radiation, you live the rest of your life wondering, but never knowing, if it will come back.

So every second, every minute and every hour of the day you want to spend doing what you want to be doing. Doing what makes you happy and what honors your own soul.  Wasting time doing things you don’t want to do is simply not an option anymore.  I am now more than ever aware of time and the inevitable lack thereof.

So please, don’t wait for a life altering event or diagnosis to take inventory of your own daily life. Notice how many times you say yes to something when you really want to say no. How many times do you put the needs of someone else over your own?  What are you doing that is taking time away from what you really want to be doing?

None of us knows how long we will have here in our one lifetime. Don’t give up any more of what makes you happy and gives you joy by doing things you don’t want to do.

In other words…start saying yes…to saying no.

IYANLA NO

1,080 minutes….

1,080 minutes of hands & feet on ice, 19 IV needle sticks, 8 lab visit/blood punctures, 5 months of side effects, 1 hospitalization & 1 shingles diagnosis whatsapp auf handy downloaden.

All led to Friday, July 8th, my 16TH & LAST ROUND OF CHEMO!

Radiation starts 8/1.

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Looking forward to starting to feel better, one day at a time.

Just a quick update, more soon!  Thanks for all the love everyone! xoxo – Deb

MAPPING…

Hi all,

Hope you all had a great 4th of July weekend! Go ‘Merica!

So here’s the deal. In the beginning of my diagnosis I sat with my surgeon and she gave me a general idea of what my treatment plan would be. It started with surgery, then chemo, then radiation and was a broad overview of how it was all going to go down. Within each of those areas, the specific doctor goes over the nuts and bolts of that stage of treatment and what to expect dog spiel herunterladen.  We map out a plan, so to speak.

This past Thursday was radiation’s turn. I’m almost done with chemo (more on that below) so it was time to meet with my radiation oncologist to go over my plan and then do the radiation “mapping” which is where they put you on the machine and very precisely map out the area to be radiated and then determine the exact dose of radiation you will get.

There is a whole simulation process that happens. There’s a team of about 6 people adjusting me and analyzing my scans , marking exactly where the radiation will hit how much can you from spotify.  Also involved is a tape measure, body tape, markers to draw on body tape, body positioning, body re-positioning, determining machine calibration points, digital photos of your positioning, several scans on the machine, breathing technique practice and finally 7 pen tip sized tattoos to map out the area to be radiated. This whole process took about 2 hours from start to finish and the end result is that when I actually start radiation I can just get on the table, get in position and we can get going brightcove video downloaden.

Last week in my entry titled “HEART” I mentioned that radiation can have long term effects on the heart if you’re getting radiation on your left side, like I am.  Because of that, I had to learn the above breathing technique where I breath in, then deeper, then hold my breath for 20 seconds. This pushes air into the space between my breast and heart, and hopefully moves my heart out of the way, protecting it from the radiation iphone sms. I’m happy to report that my heart did move and so this technique will work to lessen the amount of radiation that may hit it.

But as much as that radiation procedure is precise and follows a specific plan of start and end points, one of the lessons I’m learning throughout this whole breast cancer journey is that trying to create a roadmap of how your treatment plan will exactly go makes about as much sense as trying to control the path a tornado takes.

Sure, there are things I can still control, like initial appointment times and making sure my Taxol ice is ready for me at the right time or getting heat packs in advance so I’m not wasting time and heating my veins (helps the nurses)  before I go into the chemo suite farming simulator 2015 herunterladen.  It all helps keep some of it moving along, but as I’ve found out several times along the way, there’s no real roadmap to follow in Breast Cancer Land.

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You’ll remember back when I had my four AC chemo’s scheduled, the last one got derailed by a high fever, infection and hospital admission. I’ve had to delay going back to work a few times because of lingering side effects. Several times I have mentally prepared for things to go one way, only to hit a speed bump and get turned another way robot karol kostenlos herunterladen.

Well, the same thing happened this week. Many of you wrote or texted, congratulating me on finishing chemo because Friday, July 1 was supposed to be my last one. Thank you for remembering and celebrating with me. However, I hit another speed bump and again my journey got sidetracked.

On Thursday I unexpectedly wound up in a dermatologists office and was diagnosed with shingles zum herunterladen duden. Yes, shingles. If you don’t know what they are, Dr. Google defines it quite pleasantly like this: “Shingles is caused by the chickenpox virus that lies dormant in the spinal cord throughout life and is only reactivated when the body’s immune system becomes compromised or weakened. Shingles is a painful, blistering contagious rash.” It went on to say that patients undergoing chemotherapy are more susceptible to shingles because chemo significantly reduces your immune system disney plusen tv.

So although I had mentally prepared myself and started a premature celebration that July 1st would be my last chemo, when I told my oncologist about the shingles diagnosis and powerhouse anti-viral meds I was prescribed, she thought it would be best if we postponed chemo and pushed it out a week to July 8th.

The new plan is for me to wrap up chemo this upcoming Friday and then get started with radiation on August 1.  I’m already mentally preparing myself to get stuck a couple times with the needle again, ice my hands and feet for 90 more minutes and sit in the chemo chair for 4 more hours. But I will only celebrate when the last drip is dropped and the IV needle is taken out and tossed.

As it stands right now, the end of radiation should be some time mid September. I will also still be getting the every 3 week antibody infusions until next April.  I’m told the chemo will stay in my system for awhile as well as some of the side effects from it, but I’m holding out hope that after I’m done my immune system bounces back quickly and I can get some of my energy back.

As I get closer to finishing this year long process I am thinking about what my actual roadmap will look like when I’m done and look back. I envision it to be like a real map that at the beginning is neatly folded and flat. But then after you open it and find your route, you try to fold it back exactly the way it came and you can’t. There’s always one or two creases that wont fold right and you wind up just pushing it down flat to try to appear as though it’s folded back correctly.

And so it may not be neat, and it may not be pretty, but I know that eventually my tornado path of a treatment plan will eventually get me to the end of this journey.

HEART…

Hello all,

Again, thank you for the texts, calls and check-ins to see how I’m doing, it really means a lot. Things are going ok. I was Sloan appointment hopping the last week or so to take care of some side effect issues and feeling much better this week. Finished up my 14th infusion on Friday, only 2 more chemos to go!

One of those appointments last week was for an echocardiogram. My oncologist wanted me to have another echo to check my heart because we haven’t had one done since I started chemo and as I wrote in the beginning, it can cause heart damage amazon series on pc download.  Also, I was getting a little out of breath at times and she just wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything serious.  So this past week I went in to have the echo and I’m happy to report that everything came back fine. Well aside from apparently being very out of shape now, but that’s a topic for another day.

I also had a consult appointment with a radiation oncologist who will be treating me after chemo when I move on to the radiation phase the end of July download the report slip. There is a lot of setup to radiation in the beginning because they need to be extremely precise.  In a couple of weeks I will be going in for my “mapping” appointment that will take a few hours because they position you on the machine and map out exactly where the radiation is going to hit so they can avoid any other areas they don’t want to be damaged or affected.

Specifically – my heart.

Since my breast cancer was on the left side, my heart is right there. One way we will try to protect it is through a breathing technique where we attempt to fill up my chest wall with air between my breast and my heart so the radiation only targets the breast tissue Download bloons td 5 apk for free.  I was shown what I’ll be doing and told to practice, because it can be difficult. It involves my arms raised up while laying flat on a hard machine then holding my breath for periods of time while the radiation hits.

During this appointment, as has been the case throughout this entire ride so far, I keep getting surprised by how much more I am doing than I thought I would herunterladen. So much for Googling “breast cancer treatment.” But seriously,  because not all breast cancers are the same, not all protocols of treatment are the same. For example, I am doing 12 weekly Taxol chemos, not 4 every 2 weeks. I have to do it this way because of the antibody infusions they tacked on every 3rd week http www.festinagroup.com/de/download-bedienungsanleitungen/. That’s 3 times as many needle sticks and veins being damaged. This last appointment took 2 sticks because they are running out of vein options and can only use my right arm. My left arm is out of commission for the rest of my life because of the lymph nodes that were removed on that side. So when one vein doesn’t catch they go to another one and I’ve pretty much used up all the good ones wie kann ich herunterladen.

Also, I am HER2 positive, so the protocol for treating that is to get the chemo, then Herceptin infusions after chemo. But I’m also adding the drug Perjeta to my treatment plan because Sloan Kettering’s research has shown that adding Perjeta has been proven to work extremely well with Herceptin in combating the HER2.  It’s a one-two punch.  And I’ll be getting these Herceptin/Perjeta infusions until April of 2017.  I can remember vividly sitting with my oncologist as she went over my treatment plan back in February, my head swimming as I tried to grasp the length and overall gravity of what I’d be up against for the next 5 months to a year excel tables available for free download.

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But that all brings me to another subject – heart.

It’s the kind sports psychologists write about. It is the willingness to continue on, with drive and discipline and purpose and fight, and pushing through the hurdles, both physical and mental, even when you feel like you’re up against it and your competition, whoever or whatever that may be, is getting the best of you. It’s the faith to keep going when there’s not yet an end in sight, a desire to win, at all costs.

Luckily, I have been an athlete all my life. I learned early on to push through pain and stay in the game mentally in double overtime when exhausted.  I learned how to get through long, hot practices like college field hockey double sessions during pre-season. The days when you can barely walk up the dorm stairs in between the 8am practice and the 2pm practice because your muscles ache to the point of tears. But you do it and you get back out there. I have witnessed countless times the games and championships we have won because we had more heart than our bigger, higher ranked opponents.

It is that innate characteristic that has carried me all the way from my Little League days and clear through my high school and college three-sport careers that I’m now relying on to get me through these long treatment plans. I know no other way than to just keep going.

So please, take care of your hearts. Eat healthy diets and get your exercise in. You never know when you will need it to be as strong as it can be, to withstand stress and surgeries and tests and treatments.

And if you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re in it for the long haul, when you think you’re almost done but you’re told two more weeks, or another year, or they’re adding another level of something, dig deep within you to keep going, keep fighting and pushing, until you get there.

In other words…have heart.

THE COST OF LIVING…

Hello all,

Thanks again to everyone who emailed, called or texted to check in, I really appreciate it.  I can’t wait to be able to report back that I’m feeling great and have no issues or side effects.  That may not be until well after radiation sometime in the fall, but eventually it will be here so I appreciate you all even asking, knowing the response may not always be good news.

So Friday’s infusion was number 8 of 12 Taxol’s.  I only have 4 more left and I will be done with chemo July 1.   When that’s done I will be moving on to 5 weeks of daily radiation while simultaneously going every 3 weeks for the Herceptin/Perjeta antibody infusions which will go until April of 2017 simon's cat game for free.  There will be some side effects with that but not nearly what you get with AC & Taxol and I’m looking forward to having the weeks in between to recover from whatever does come along.

As I’ve gone through the 4 months so far of chemo there have been many challenges and I’ve had a lot of time to think about the whole process. On bad days when it gets to me I often wonder if it’s worth putting your body and spirit through all of this. There is no way to go over all a breast cancer diagnosis and chemo entails and all it robs you of, but when you get diagnosed and it’s a certain kind and a certain stage, you really have no choice and need the chemo Playstation 4 is not possible.

But it definitely comes with a cost.

Throughout this whole process I have seen claims going through on my insurance for $30,000+ here, $16,000+ there, $6,000+ here, and dozens and dozens of others in the thousands and high hundreds – and we are still going.  I am happy to report that I have great health insurance through work, but just to keep things in perspective, even with the insurance, so far I’m already out of pocket close to $6,000. That’s split between the big ticket deductibles and all the incidentals along the way. I have no idea how people without insurance get through it netflix tv download mobile phone.

Some random costs in addition to medical bills are hotel rooms close to the hospital when you get a 6am call time for surgery, the cost of a good wig, different hats, the trial hats that don’t work with the wig, specific make-up so you don’t look sick when you go out, trial over the counter meds that you find out don’t work so you buy other over the counter meds you need to  take most days to combat chemo symptoms. No nose hairs? Nasal drip allergy meds. Chemo dehydrated eyes? Pricey lubricant drops. Bone and joint pain? Extra strength pain meds.  And on and on.

There’s the days you have absolutely no stamina so rushing from subway to subway to commute home isn’t going to work so there’s Ubers and taxi costs herunterladen.  No energy to grocery shop, cook or clean equals too many take out dinners. There’s more, but that gives you an idea.

And each time I spend my money on those things, it goes right through me. No one would ever choose to spend their money on cancer.

But in dealing with this whole diagnosis I’ve realized you just don’t pay for it in dollars and cents. You also pay in ways that affect you physically, mentally and emotionally.  Here’s just some things that are popping into my head now.

You pay by:

Anaerobic bacteria can cause syndrome in the abdomen, cialis in india price liver, and pelvis herunterladen. Undergoing the treatment with the best sexologist doctor in delhi is Dr. cheap viagra soft The various other features that come into the picture is what is the average time for generika cialis 20mg the Sildenafil to dissolve in blood. Lowers blood sugar level UMMC reveals that regular consumption buy cheap levitra http://robertrobb.com/due-process-concerns-shouldnt-stop-red-flag-laws/ of acai berry in any form helps shed those extra layers of fats from your belly, you must get enough sleep.

Missing several family gatherings, parties and an important visit to an ailing grandmother because you can’t make the 4 hour drive home the day after sitting through chemo bauhaus schriftart herunterladen.

Bruising from needle sticks for IVs that take a couple weeks to go away.  Or the small cut you get in the worst place that won’t heal because you are now anemic from the chemo.

Hours you lose trekking to doctor’s appointments and lab visits. In addition to spending 6-8 hours on Friday getting infusions, I just had a rushed appointment to one of Sloan’s GI doctors for help with digestive issues due to chemo. I have to have another echo this week because the meds I’m getting can cause heart issues and my oncologist wants me to get my heart checked again how can I online from share.  The week after that I have a consult with the radiation oncologist.  Then I’m back at Sloan the next day for another big infusion day.  All this is time I’d much rather be spending on anything else.

You pay in emotional ways like feeling bad you can only work a couple days a week and a lot less hours while you wait for the random side effects to lesson and you know your coworkers are putting in 12-14 hour days and totally overloaded.  Television news in a massive political season, anyone?

Or feeling guilty because you see your partner or company bored to tears because you’re not doing anything fun for the start of summer holiday eis am stiel kostenlos downloaden.  Or because you’re spending yet another night in and don’t want to make plans to go to dinner with friends because you know you won’t make it through without having stomach issues from the effects of chemo, no matter how much medication you take.

You pay for it in frustration when your doctor tells you to absolutely stay out of the sun when summer is your favorite season, the beach your favorite place and diving through waves your favorite seasonal pastime.

Or not being able to workout with any kind of intensity because of random, daily side effects or being too tired and then seeing all your friends on Facebook posting their physical accomplishments, looking and feeling great apple itunes downloaden windows 10.  Or sitting on your balcony and seeing everyone with headphones in, jogging past your building or all sweaty coming out of a kickboxing class.

Or seeing people out for drinks with friends and you haven’t had a drink with your friends in forever because you don’t want to deal with being even more dehydrated and it makes you feel sick.

You pay with a lack of sleep because you have to drink so much water and other fluids to combat the dehydration from chemo and you’re up several times a night to go to the bathroom.

The list could go on and on but I’d have to sign up for another blog to post then all. So what keeps me going?  What makes going through chemo and all the above even the tiniest bit tolerable skype downloaden op macbook?

Because in the end I know the price I’m paying will eventually be worth it, since after all, it’s the cost of actually living.

“WE’LL GET YOU THROUGH IT…”

Hi all,

Well, I’m happy to report that yesterday’s wait time for my chemo suite was much better than last week’s!  I just about sat down, chugged some water, took out a snack and got comfy and they called my name 15 minutes after my appointment time. Maybe they weren’t as busy, or maybe they signed me in under Norma Rae, I don’t know, but whatever it was I’ll take it.

Unfortunately as fast as I got into my suite, I then got delayed starting meds because my nurse couldn’t find a good vein Download amatic font. She tried twice but they “wouldn’t catch” and so she called in another nurse to give it a try. If you’ve never had a nurse try to get a vein to catch, consider yourself lucky.  The needle goes in then slides out a little, then back in. They fiddle and diddle moving the inserted needle left and right and all around. She tried for awhile and said to me, “you’re very patient.”  I felt bad for both of us, we both really wanted to get started, and I know she felt bad about having to stick me multiple times picasa 3 for free german windows 10. The second nurse came in and went for a better looking vein and finally got it.  She said some days are good vein days, some are not.  It may be that I wasn’t hydrated enough this one particular morning because that always helps. An hour later we finally got started with the chemo.

This brings me to a question some of you have asked which is why I didn’t get a port Download sims free play.  When you first start chemo they give you that option and go over all the pros and cons. To me, the cons outweighed the pros.

I have good veins and no one has ever had much of a problem getting to them.  I learned quickly though that an occasional IV and blood draws are vastly different than continuous use of them with chemo. When I was first getting started my initial understanding was that I would be getting 4 AC chemos and 4 Taxol chemos, both on an every other week schedule herunterladen. I didn’t realize it would be an every week thing with the Taxol, which looking back now was always the plan, it just didn’t register with me at the time because there is so much incoming you can’t retain it all and it’s not really until you’re in the middle of a particular phase that you totally get it.

But even with the bad math on the number of needle sticks, I didn’t think I’d want one. One reason is because it’s implanted in an operating room under general anesthesia and is eventually removed that way too. Two extra procedures is two too many when you are already in and out of the hospital, doctor’s office, labs and pharmacies non-stop download prezi for free. It’s also an incision that needs to heal and with that, another reminder scar on your body.

Plus, a big concern for me is that it is implanted in your chest and I sleep on my stomach and don’t really know how comfortable that would be. When I had my lumpectomy surgery I was unable to sleep on my stomach through recovery and didn’t get much rest at all. With 5 months of chemo ahead of me, I didn’t want to risk not getting sleep when it was most important for my weekly recovery and well-being.

And lastly, the port does come with some nasty risks and complications and here’s some of them:

  • Infection in the skin at the exit site or in the blood
  • Blood clots in the catheter or the vein
  • The port moves and irritates the vein
  • Slipping of the needle from the back of the port chamber which means the IV fluid flows under the skin instead of into the vein
  • Accidental cutting or puncturing of blood vessels

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So for all of those reasons I opted to not get one download amd v-detection services program.

I asked my nurse yesterday if a lot of patients get the port. She said that although some do, most don’t.  I asked her about the condition of my veins and with six more infusions and then anti-body infusions every three weeks until 2017 if it was worth getting one now.

She said with only six left and then a three week break in between the anti-body infusions, I should be ok and she didn’t see a need for a port at this time how to movies for free.  She looked at my arm, then at me and said reassuringly, “We’ll get you through it.”

The nurses throughout my entire journey at Sloan have been above and beyond amazing. Between the hours spent explaining things, after hours phone calls to make sure you’re ok, popping into your suite to check on you when they walk by and see you sitting there, or giving you tips and tricks to get through any and all side effects, they are the glue that keeps patients together as we trudge through the day to day of months of treatment tipico app download android.

So when she said “we’ll get you through it,” I have not one ounce of doubt that they will.

GET UP AND SPEAK UP…

Hey guys,

First, thanks to everyone who has been Facebooking, texting and calling to check in, I really appreciate it. I can tell when a lot of people check in that it’s time to update the blog as people are genuinely interested in where I am on this long, involuntary journey. Sorry it’s been awhile, it’s a mood thing and I didn’t want to write when I was super cranky but tonight I figure, why not. It’s not all peaches and cream so here you go.

Today, I had my 5th Taxol infusion of 12.  Combined with that other kind of chemo, it’s my 9th out of 16 infusions.  It feels sometimes like I’m chasing a moving light at the end of the tunnel, but I know at some point I’ll get there because my badasses keep telling me to hang on. So I’ll just keep putting one foot in front of the other and trudge into Sloan Kettering every Friday until I’ve hit the magic number.

I’ve talked in the past about this journey being a mental game as much as it is physical and emotional.  Today was one of those days. First, I don’t want to be there to begin with, but second, they are always behind for chemo infusions download the volkswagen manual. Sometimes they are over an hour behind, sometimes there’s a bigger scheduled gap between your visit with the oncologist and the pharmacy mixing your meds and you getting into an actual room for your treatments. Those are planned gaps and you can leave and get lunch or poke around the boutique or do something, but at least you know about the wait and you can plan for it.

Today wasn’t one of those days, it was a trainwreck that ultimately ended with me asking to speak with the person who does the scheduling because clearly they don’t understand what goes on with patients who are waiting hours to get in there and they need to do something to fix it. It is all the time, every week, patients lingering in the waiting room, napping, eating, reading, pacing and quizzing the front desk people about “where they are in the queue” to get a suite. Mentally you gear yourself up to get in there and get your infusion and get out…and sitting around for hours on end waiting just adds to the frustration and makes people miserable.

Today my appointment was set for 11:45am. I don’t have a problem if they are backed up 30-45 minutes, I get it, things happen. But today they were 2 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES late herunterladen.  I left my house at 10:45am to get there on time, and didn’t get seated in a chemo chair until 2:30PM.

And what made it worse was when I’d check in with the front desk, the guy told me at 1pm that my meds were mixed and ready and it should be “15 minutes or so,”  Then when it wasn’t, I checked in with the woman popping her head out of the suite door calling patients in. She said she’d check and let me know when I’d be called. She never came back. I then cornered another woman who was heading into that area, who by the way, doesn’t have a thing to do with chemo infusions, if she could check. She said she’d ask for me. Finally the other woman came back and said I was next, a nurse was getting my room ready and it shouldn’t be long, yet 45 minutes later I still wasn’t called & she was nowhere to be seen.

So here’s the thing with hospitals and everything in life. You can either sit there and take it, sigh loudly like some, take another nap, send someone out for yet more food, or call and complain to a friend.

Or you can get up, speak up and demand they get their act together.

So that’s what I did. I huffed up to the front desk and asked who was in charge of setting the appointments and asked to speak with that person reiseführer herunterladen.  I was told it was an admin person but she wasn’t sure who, but she could have “Alice, the patient advocate” come see me in my room when I get there.  I told her I didn’t have a room and was waiting for over 2 and 1/2 hours. Her eyes got as big as saucers. She called back to the suites again and they told her to send me to room 19.  She told me Alice would immediately meet me in there.

I got to room 19 and there wasn’t s a soul in sight.  No nurse, no tech, no Alice.  I saw the weekly paperwork I have to fill out for a clinical trial I’m in regarding neuropathy (burning, tingling, pain) in my fingers and toes, and took it upon myself to get the show on the road and start filling that out. The post it on the front said “Deliver for 11:45am appointment” to which I passive aggressively scribbled out and wrote “NOT SEEN UNTIL 2:30PM!” It was a start radio.de zum herunterladen.
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The nurse finally came in and made the mistake of saying nicely, “So, how are you today?”  I lost it. I told her about my wait time and my frustration and how it messes up everyone’s days and how I don’t understand why they don’t tell patients about the wait and let them decide to sit there or go out, etc spiele herunterladen auf handy.  I felt bad after I rambled off all my misguided aggression, it wasn’t her fault. But she looked at me and apologized and said she understood. She has heard it before and totally gets it. It’s not fair to the nurses they get the brunt of patients’ frustration and I told her that.  I apologized and we started the process of looking for a good vein.

Sidenote: Last week some chemo apparently “leaked out” of the vein they used in my hand and my forearm swelled up two days later. According to the emergency resident on call, that’s common, but since it was still sore this nurse wanted to move up my arm a bit and after 15 minutes of whacking at my arm, clenching a fist and using a heat sack, we found a decent vein to use. We were on our way.

But I wasn’t letting go of Alice. The nurse knew who I was referring to and said she’d also let Alice know I still wanted to talk to her.  I think she was more than happy to give me someone else to vent to. About 45 minutes later, after the Benadryl kicked in and I was loopy and slurry, Alice walked in the suite, pen and paper in hand what is herunterladen in english. Apparently she knows the drill.

I have to say I’m normally a pretty good patient. I don’t stress, don’t ask for much, understand how busy everyone is and don’t ever really complain.  But I am also the kind of person who needs to speak up when things are done wrong and the results of that affect people’s lives, especially my own.

So I let Alice know of the delay, of the wait time for several other patients who were furious in the waiting room and how no one is communicating with us about it and giving us options to work around it. We just had to sit there, held hostage, waiting and hoping that every time the door opened it was for one of us.  She sat there wide-eyed and said “I am flabbergasted, I don’t even have a response. That’s not acceptable, and I will definitely talk to the managers about this.”  I also told her about a few other things that they could improve upon (control freak anyone?) and she agreed with my suggestions adobe reader mac download kostenlos deutsch.  I had her trapped at this point and I wasn’t letting her go until I got it all off my chest.

Because here’s what they don’t understand. Everyone in the waiting room is sick, to varying degrees. They are fighting breast cancer. They are tired and bored and hungry and nauseas, in physical pain from previous infusions, sucking down water to combat dehydration from whatever cocktail of chemo they are getting. They are making multiple trips to the bathroom waiting to get called. Some are sitting in wheelchairs with oxygen tanks, slumped over doing their best to wait it out, looking like they are at the end of a very long, hard road. It’s emotionally draining to look at some of them and wonder, “Does she have what I have? Is she triple positive, or triple negative? Did her cancer metastasize? Is she HER2 positive? Are they out of options for her?” You have your own battle, but you wonder where her battle started and how it will end and can’t help but see your own possible future in everyone else sitting in that room fortnite herunterladen handy.  It’s bad enough to be there for 20-30 minutes waiting, but 2 hours and 45 minutes is enough time to jump like an Olympic level trampoliner to a thousand and one horrible conclusions.

At one point during our conversation we saw nurses running frantically by my suite towards the waiting room, then back again, then again towards the waiting room, all with concerned, panicked faces.  My nurse came in and said that a patient had fallen down in the hallway of the waiting room. I joked, “Well that’s one way to get some attention, she probably just wanted someone to see her and get her in a room! I’m going to try that next week.”  She didn’t think it was the right plan.

I don’t know yet what changes, if any, will be made. But it’s not right and it’s not fair to all of the patients to overload the schedule when there’s not enough rooms or nurses to accommodate it empire earth 1 free download full version. The brunt of inadequate scheduling should not fall on the shoulders of the patients who are simply trying to keep their bald heads above water and get through the day.

So next week when I’m in the waiting room for my 10th infusion, if the wait time starts to creep up, I will channel my inner Norma Rae and without a doubt again I will get up and speak up, for all of us.

QUICK UPDATE: A few people have asked how this could be since Sloan Kettering is such a top notch facility.  I felt I should clarify. It IS. My surgeon and oncologist are two of the smartest women in breast cancer medicine and their nurses and even the billing department are on top of everything.  If I had to go this far all over again I’d pick each of them to go along for the ride.  The only problem I’ve faced is this issue of epic delays trying to get chemo saliorel. It is most likely caused by the sheer volume of patients who are there, but that doesn’t excuse it. They need to expand, group up patients for infusions, add more suites or start doing some night sessions to accommodate the number of patients. Something. 

COLD AS ICE

Well, I’m two rounds into Taxol chemo.  Only ten more to go.  The good thing is from what I can tell, it’s going to be easier to tolerate than that other kind of chemo. It has its own side effects and they can take their toll, but so far there’s no nausea, I can eat, and I don’t feel like staying in bed for 7 days straight download retourformulier h&m.

But here’s what I’m finding out as I start this next three month round.  As much as chemo and fighting breast cancer is a physical fight, it’s also a mental one.  Knowing how it effects you physically makes it really hard to walk back in each week, get the IV needle in an overused vein and know what you’ll be up against for the next week or so download gif animation. You have to try to remain positive, know it’s necessary and do your best to turn off any emotions you have about cancer and the fact that you’re stuck going through what you’re going through. Basically when it comes to cancer you have to be cold as ice and not give it the time of day or let it get to you in every aspect of your life that it wants to effect anno 1602 download kostenlos. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but ignoring it as best you can and not giving it the attention it wants can make things a little easier to handle.

So my first round last Friday was a little rough because it was my “loading dose” of Taxol and the two antibodies, Herceptin and Perjeta which meant five hours in the chair with the IV dji phantom 4 bilder herunterladen.  Add to that the commute, the lab visit in the morning to get a blood sample then the check-up with my oncologist, it turned out to be a ten hour, exhausting day.  The five hours in the chair is because there are side effects and a risk of allergic reaction to what Taxol is mixed with, so they had to give me Benadryl, a steroid, Pepcid and Tylenol first before even getting to the Taxol and antibodies. And each of the above meds had to be dripped separately which is why it takes so long herunterladen minecraft kostenlos.

SIDE NOTE: If you’ve never had 50mg of Benadryl shot directly into your vein let me tell you what you’re missing. Within five minutes I could barely speak, the walls and floor looked slanted, my tongue felt like it was six times its normal size and every last drop of saliva I walked in with got sucked out of my mouth and into the atmosphere of the chemo suite.

When it was time for the Taxol the nurse first packed my hands and feet on ice (more on that in a bit), wheeled over an oxygen tank, got out an EpiPen kit and then stayed with me to make sure I didn’t go into anaphylactic shock itunes für windows xp herunterladen.  Trying to communicate with her during this critical time when she’s constantly asking “how you’re doing” in a concerned voice should really be it’s own Olympic event. Although I can tell you I’d come in dead last because I think I may have slurred out “I thinhk Imuh okhay” semi-coherently only once gratis beat makeren.

The good news is I didn’t have an allergic reaction, last Friday or during yesterday’s infusion, so the significant threat of that is now over. The first two treatments are the ones they are most concerned about so the anxiety around the next ten infusions should be a lot lower all the way around herunterladen.

Now, about the ice packs. In my last post I mentioned one of the side effects of Taxol is nail discoloration and them lifting off your fingers and falling out.  I know two badasses who have had all of that happen to them and they begged me to “make sure you ice” while getting Taxol. They didn’t and are paying the price download fonts for free. It’s not a guarantee, but so many people say it does help so I am giving it a shot.  If you’re daring and not eating while reading this, just Google “Taxol nails” and click images. You’re welcome.
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But here’s the thing about icing. You have to keep your hands and feet on the ice the whole time the Taxol is getting infused, which takes an hour.  The ice is supposed to constrict the blood vessels and prevent the Taxol from getting to those areas which helps prevent the nail issue.  And that brings in the mental part of this whole game again.  It is extremely difficult to keep your hands and feet on ice for an hour.  Physically it starts to hurt after about 15 minutes. Mentally you have to go to  a place where you ignore it for 45  more minutes.  Here’s a glimpse of it:

handsice

feeticed

Every time I pulled my hands or feet out of the ice I think of those Google images and immediately put them back in.  When it comes to tackling the various side effects of chemo, if there’s one you can hopefully keep at bay, you do whatever you can to do it right.

The biggest issues so far I’m finding with Taxol is the fatigue and joint/bone pain. But I will take that over the nausea from the last go ’round any day.

And from now on, whatever else this you know what wants to throw at me down the line, I say bring it. Because for the rest of this journey, I’m mentally prepared in more ways than one, to be cold as ice.

THAT OTHER KIND OF CHEMO…

Ok, here’s the thing, if I never utter the words AC chemo again, I won’t lose any sleep over it.

Friday was my 4th and final round of that leg and as usual about a week later, I’m starting to come back to feeling human netflix broadcasts. There is really no other way to put it. The nausea, fatigue, bone pain, stomach issues, lack of desire to do anything, and every other side effect that completely interferes with life are all hopefully behind me as I start to feel like a normal person again directx 11 kostenlos.

A lot of you have called, texted, emailed and Facebook’d asking how I’m doing and what’s next. Thank you for that. It’s the check-ins that although may take me a bit to get back to, help me push forward knowing you’re all over there pulling for me adobe flash player for free.

So now what’s next?  Starting April 15th I will be beginning 12 weeks of my next round of chemo and antibodies. The chemo this time is Taxol whatsapp status herunterladen android.  But instead of doing it every 2 weeks for 8 weeks like some do, I will be doing it for 12 weeks, every single Friday.  From what I’m told, it’s a lesser dose and the side effects won’t be as drastic than if I had a heavier dose every 2 weeks kostenlos mp3 hörspieleen. The downside is it takes 3 months to get through instead of 2 months, which is a lot on an already long road. But I also need to do the 12 week schedule because every 3rd week I will be getting two antibodies, Pertuzumab and Herceptin added to my infusion, which are used to target the HER2 receptor I’m positive for spor das spiel kostenlosen.  These antibody infusions are the ones I will be getting all the way through until April of 2017.

There are good times but there are bad times as well when a partner is unable to satisfy the other but that doesn’t mean that he buy cialis where is not willing or is at fault gangstar rio kostenlosen. But wholesale generic cialis before adopting this solution to improve your libido and prevent the development of ED netflix herunterladen auf computer. Further, when you buy Kamagra, UK and EU customers receive there is no more than two consecutive weeks, consisting levitra on line check out this site of three or more watery bowel movements per day 3d grafikkarte kostenlosen windows 7. These troubles are performance anxiety, stress, bipolar disorder, ADHD and depression. cialis online india There are several possible side effects that could occur with all three of these infusions including bone pain, fatigue, nail discoloration, nails lifting off your fingers, every hair on your body kind of hair loss, rash, diarrhea, cardiac issues, swelling, and neuropathy per ssh dateien.  Neuropathy seems to be a big one that hits most people and is basically a numbness/tingling with pain in your hands and feet. My nurse who went over everything with me said people equate it to when your hand falls asleep or that it’s like walking on pillows and hard to get your footing.  So basically if that happens, future blogs for the next 12 weeks may look a little like this:

Heu everyeow, jysrf finshdasd rinf 4 of Tsxpk…..

That’s all I know about that, which is enough quite frankly. So if everything goes as planned, by the middle of July I should be finished with all chemo and moving on to radiation.

I’m looking forward to getting started, taking it one day at a time again and eventually getting to the end of this road…just like I did with that other kind of chemo.

My battle against breast cancer and updates on life in general. Follow me on Twitter at @DebCote for more updates. Contact: debracote@hotmail.com