Hello all,
Thanks again to everyone who emailed, called or texted to check in, I really appreciate it. I can’t wait to be able to report back that I’m feeling great and have no issues or side effects. That may not be until well after radiation sometime in the fall, but eventually it will be here so I appreciate you all even asking, knowing the response may not always be good news.
So Friday’s infusion was number 8 of 12 Taxol’s. I only have 4 more left and I will be done with chemo July 1. When that’s done I will be moving on to 5 weeks of daily radiation while simultaneously going every 3 weeks for the Herceptin/Perjeta antibody infusions which will go until April of 2017 simon's cat game for free. There will be some side effects with that but not nearly what you get with AC & Taxol and I’m looking forward to having the weeks in between to recover from whatever does come along.
As I’ve gone through the 4 months so far of chemo there have been many challenges and I’ve had a lot of time to think about the whole process. On bad days when it gets to me I often wonder if it’s worth putting your body and spirit through all of this. There is no way to go over all a breast cancer diagnosis and chemo entails and all it robs you of, but when you get diagnosed and it’s a certain kind and a certain stage, you really have no choice and need the chemo Playstation 4 is not possible.
But it definitely comes with a cost.
Throughout this whole process I have seen claims going through on my insurance for $30,000+ here, $16,000+ there, $6,000+ here, and dozens and dozens of others in the thousands and high hundreds – and we are still going. I am happy to report that I have great health insurance through work, but just to keep things in perspective, even with the insurance, so far I’m already out of pocket close to $6,000. That’s split between the big ticket deductibles and all the incidentals along the way. I have no idea how people without insurance get through it netflix tv download mobile phone.
Some random costs in addition to medical bills are hotel rooms close to the hospital when you get a 6am call time for surgery, the cost of a good wig, different hats, the trial hats that don’t work with the wig, specific make-up so you don’t look sick when you go out, trial over the counter meds that you find out don’t work so you buy other over the counter meds you need to take most days to combat chemo symptoms. No nose hairs? Nasal drip allergy meds. Chemo dehydrated eyes? Pricey lubricant drops. Bone and joint pain? Extra strength pain meds. And on and on.
There’s the days you have absolutely no stamina so rushing from subway to subway to commute home isn’t going to work so there’s Ubers and taxi costs herunterladen. No energy to grocery shop, cook or clean equals too many take out dinners. There’s more, but that gives you an idea.
And each time I spend my money on those things, it goes right through me. No one would ever choose to spend their money on cancer.
But in dealing with this whole diagnosis I’ve realized you just don’t pay for it in dollars and cents. You also pay in ways that affect you physically, mentally and emotionally. Here’s just some things that are popping into my head now.
You pay by:
Anaerobic bacteria can cause syndrome in the abdomen, cialis in india price liver, and pelvis herunterladen. Undergoing the treatment with the best sexologist doctor in delhi is Dr. cheap viagra soft The various other features that come into the picture is what is the average time for generika cialis 20mg the Sildenafil to dissolve in blood. Lowers blood sugar level UMMC reveals that regular consumption buy cheap levitra http://robertrobb.com/due-process-concerns-shouldnt-stop-red-flag-laws/ of acai berry in any form helps shed those extra layers of fats from your belly, you must get enough sleep.
Missing several family gatherings, parties and an important visit to an ailing grandmother because you can’t make the 4 hour drive home the day after sitting through chemo bauhaus schriftart herunterladen.
Bruising from needle sticks for IVs that take a couple weeks to go away. Or the small cut you get in the worst place that won’t heal because you are now anemic from the chemo.
Hours you lose trekking to doctor’s appointments and lab visits. In addition to spending 6-8 hours on Friday getting infusions, I just had a rushed appointment to one of Sloan’s GI doctors for help with digestive issues due to chemo. I have to have another echo this week because the meds I’m getting can cause heart issues and my oncologist wants me to get my heart checked again how can I online from share. The week after that I have a consult with the radiation oncologist. Then I’m back at Sloan the next day for another big infusion day. All this is time I’d much rather be spending on anything else.
You pay in emotional ways like feeling bad you can only work a couple days a week and a lot less hours while you wait for the random side effects to lesson and you know your coworkers are putting in 12-14 hour days and totally overloaded. Television news in a massive political season, anyone?
Or feeling guilty because you see your partner or company bored to tears because you’re not doing anything fun for the start of summer holiday eis am stiel kostenlos downloaden. Or because you’re spending yet another night in and don’t want to make plans to go to dinner with friends because you know you won’t make it through without having stomach issues from the effects of chemo, no matter how much medication you take.
You pay for it in frustration when your doctor tells you to absolutely stay out of the sun when summer is your favorite season, the beach your favorite place and diving through waves your favorite seasonal pastime.
Or not being able to workout with any kind of intensity because of random, daily side effects or being too tired and then seeing all your friends on Facebook posting their physical accomplishments, looking and feeling great apple itunes downloaden windows 10. Or sitting on your balcony and seeing everyone with headphones in, jogging past your building or all sweaty coming out of a kickboxing class.
Or seeing people out for drinks with friends and you haven’t had a drink with your friends in forever because you don’t want to deal with being even more dehydrated and it makes you feel sick.
You pay with a lack of sleep because you have to drink so much water and other fluids to combat the dehydration from chemo and you’re up several times a night to go to the bathroom.
The list could go on and on but I’d have to sign up for another blog to post then all. So what keeps me going? What makes going through chemo and all the above even the tiniest bit tolerable skype downloaden op macbook?
Because in the end I know the price I’m paying will eventually be worth it, since after all, it’s the cost of actually living.
Deb you are in my thoughts and prayers and you stay strong . Thank u for sharing.
Thank you, Kim, I appreciate all your support. xoxo
Wow, Deb. I am in awe of your ability to get through each treatment with such dignity and strength. I’ve seen several friends down this road, and these friends today are happy and healthy, and that’s going to be you! Hang in there.
Interesting side effect for those who have been through chemo – for whatever reason, they are less likely to suffer from dementia. True fact.
Thank you, Michele. I am so happy to hear about your friends. The success stories are always great to hear. I am definitely going to look up the dementia fact, that’s a silver lining for sure. Hope you are well and thanks again for the encouragement.
Hi Deb. Thanks for sharing what you are going through. Ive thought you were amazing and great since I first met you, but seriously you are one kickass woman! I’m sorry to hear all you are going through, it’s not fair. But please know we are routing for you and saying extra prayers and sending them your way. I hope that before you know it, you’ll be able to enjoy more of the simple pleasures that too often get taken for granted. Thanks for helping us to appreciate these moments more. Lots of love being sent your way. Xo
Thank you, Christine. I really appreciate it and hope you guys are doing well. Let us know the next time you’re down this neck of the woods, would love to see you. xoxo
thinking of you…. 💛
Thanks, Liz. xoxo
Thank you Debbie! Each of your stories are informative and inspirational.
Thank you, Lou! xoxo
I’m sorry that you or anyone has to see the real cost of cancer… You said it so well.. In the 2 and a half year since Billy was diagnosed we have paid over 12,000 out of pocket and that is just deductible… We to have lost precious time…
But in the end, he is still with us, and you are still here fighting as well.. I pray for your full recovery… As a cancer patient you go thru HELL, but I have found you meet the most AMAZING people… Keep swimming even when it feels like the tide is against you… You got this….
Thanks, Laurie. I know you know the price as well and I’ve followed you and Billy all along, he is definitely an inspiration and tough as nails kid. xoxo
Hi Deb,
I’m an old friend of your mom, back when we were kids. I have been following your blog since you started writing it. As many of your followers and friends have reiterated, and I concure, you are a pretty amazing woman. I have some experience with living with a cancer patient years back and must compliment you on not only your courage, but your “important” honest, documentation of the roller coaster ride associated with the desease.
Ups and downs are unfortunately parr for the ride, and the balls to the wall honesty you express varies from the typical sugar coated truth given by the medical establishment, and needs to be told and retold.
“The cost of living” so eloquently paints the picture. Life IS worth fighting for… and you are one amazing warrior.
Hi Fran, thank you so much for this, I really appreciate it. xoxo
You are always in our toughts Deb. Hang in there. We look forward to family time when this is all history
Thanks, Trish. xoxo
As I was reading your blog, I couldn’t help but think of what my PC told once when I shared with him that my niece, at the age of 17, was diagnosed with cancer. His exact words were, “Her life won’t be her own for a long, long time, but in the end, what she is having to experience to get through it, will be well worth it.” Guess what? He was absolutely correct. She finished school, went on to college, got married and is the proud and healthy mother of an adorable little girl.
You are strong, you are tough and you will get through this Deb. I can’t say I understand what you’re going through, but I know it must be a terrible hardship for a person with so much life and so much to give!
I continue to pray for you each and every day and have faith that when this is all behind you, you will continue to go on to do more amazing things with your life and continue to make this world a better place.
There is always next summer to enjoy the beach and the waves, there is always tomorrow to have that drink with friends and the gym will still be there when you’re ready. Don’t worry about those you love being bored or feeling deprived because they stand by you because you are important to them Deb. If they could, I’m sure they would make this all go away for you in the blink of an eye! Stop worrying about the things you can’t change and embrace each and every day and try to find something in each day that makes you smile, even if it’s simply that you woke up, stood on your own two feet and saw the sun again. Sometimes I simply breathe in the the beauty around me and thank God for letting me experience it.
Love you!
Ms. T
Thank you for this. Definitely good reminders and I’m already looking forward to next summer. 🙂 I’m so glad your niece is ok. xoxo
Deb, it was great to see you and Billie yesterday. The writing that you do helps you to get through all that you need to. Stay strong and optimistic and you and your family will be putting this behind you soon. Best wishes to you.
Maryann Korsen
It was good to see you too. Thank you for following along and for the support and kind words. xoxo
You’re my hero!!!!
“Balls in, coming dowwwwwn!” God what I wouldn’t do to be 21 and on that college softball field with you again. Miss you!! xoxo
it sucks…really – no better way to say it. f cancer….props to you….thinking about you often….you’re amazing….but as you have said – their aren’t many other choices – are there….??
and – for you – i’m glad the red sox are doing well….but i’d still rather them be in last place!
I’ll start with the Red Sox! They are hitting machines! 🙂 And exactly, no other choice here, so just getting through the day to day with as much positive attitude as possible. F cancer. xoxo
You are my hero and such an inspiration to everyone who knows you. We love you
Thanks, Les. 🙂 XOXO
I think of you so often I will continue to pray for you and send you nothing but positive vibes. Continue to stay strong even though I’m sure it’s not easy. Also, you are truly an amazing writer. sending you love and prayers
Thank you, Marion. Staying positive is one of the best things I can do. And thanks for the compliment and the continued prayers, I really appreciate it. xoxo
Deb. Not sure I could do what you are doing. I am self employed and would have no income. You inspire me and I think and pray for you often. Keep up the good fight you are closer to the end than the beginning.
That’s the hard part for a lot of people, I don’t know how they do it. I am very lucky I have a good employer and an amazing group of co-workers and senior producers who constantly tell me not to worry about the workload and remind me to focus on my health first. It’s a big part of recovery to have that flexibility. I feel awful for the people who are less fortunate who don’t have insurance or a good job. Please make sure you get your yearly mammograms and do self exams. Anything unusual get in and get checked asap, catch it early and avoid half of this. Thank you for the prayers and perspective. xoxo
Five weeks of radiation does not sound as bad as seven weeks which is what I had. But different area’s. Once a long time ago I had pre-cancerous cells in my uterus. (those cancer cells just love me) My biopsy also said I had an excess of estrogen. So, before trying a hysterectomy I agreed to a type of estrogen blocking progesterone. It totally reversed my uterine lining. All biopsied cells were now normal. And the best part, while on the estrogen blocker I felt fantastic. So, I have since decided that estrogen is not my friend. Will it be external radiation or seeds. Sounds a hell of a lot better than Taxol hell. Just four more chemo’s. The cost of cancer treatments is astronomical. Something needs to be done about it. I think they are ripping people off.
Yeah, 5 weeks of daily radiation, Mon-Fri. That stinks you had to go through 7 weeks. Two extra weeks of anything in this world is a long time. It will be external radiation and yes, anything is better than chemo!
Hey Deb,
I’m caught up on your blogs. So much to say to you and I do not have the words. Stay strong!!
Thanks, De! You speechless…who would have thought. 🙂 Miss you! xoxo
Hi Maud,
I think of you everyday, and then I pray for you and for another dear friend whom is going thru her 3rd battle. I think about how amazing you are and how I placed you so high on a pedestal in college, you were older, wiser and sometimes even funnier than I. You’ve never done a thing to fall from that pedestal and it brings a lump to my throat as I think of your battle! Stay strong and trust all of us around you…….lean on us Maud …,..we’ve got you!
-digger
Wait, sometimes funnier? LOL. Thanks for this, Tina. We always find the people we are supposed to be with, at the exact time we are supposed to be with them. I am grateful for our time together at Nichols and for your friendship that has continued through all these years. My heart goes out to your friend, I hope she is doing ok. xoxo
Hey, Deb,
I got behind on my reading, but these last two are wonderful, as expected. When it is hard to be positive, don’t think about making it through 2017. One day at a time is all you need. And remember each day has its small victory.
I felt lousy last year at Thanksgiving and at Christmas from chemo. REALLY bad, physically and mentally. Then I realized that I am doing this so that there will be many more Thanksgivings and Christmases!
As you said, “Because in the end I know the price I’m paying will eventually be worth it, since after all, it’s the cost of actually living.”
I have 4 more Herceptin treatments, which will take me through August. Then comes port removal (in my surgeon’s office). Then recovering from The Cure and much diligence and frequent check ups.
You are getting closer to the end of this. Keep up the great attitude. Remember, YOU are the number 1 priority!
Much love,
Barbara
Thank you Barbara! I know you and so many others “get” what this whole treatment plan does to you in every aspect of your life, but like you said one day at a time and bask in the glory of the small victories because even the small ones seem big at the time. Can’t wait for you to be done with Herceptin and to get your port out! Thank you for staying in my corner and for sharing your own journey with me and others. xoxo
Deb… The doc’s recommended Eucerin for my neck during radiation. I used it. Since then I have Eucerin calming cream that really good for reddened skin or irritation. I had tomo Therapy. Not sure if that is the kind you will have. It lessons damage but you do get a pre-scan before each radiation treatment so it’s a trade off. Less damage to delicate skin but an extra scan each day. I was 62 at the time so figured what does it matter. http://www.cancercenter.com/breast-cancer/tomotherapy/
They did recommend Eucerin and a couple other creams to use twice a day during radiation. I will know more of exactly what I’ll be getting the end of the month, but I have definitely been told by the nurses and my fellow badasses to make sure I use the lotion religiously. Thank you!