Hello all,
Sorry for the delay, been sorting out life without chemo and enjoying the break before my Herceptin/Perjeta infusion this Friday and the start of radiation on August 1. Radiation will be every day, Mon-Fri until the middle of September. That nap I keep saying I need? I may be more like a bear hibernating at the end of it all Download games for free full version german windows 10 offline. 🙂
I have to say though, not having to get chemo anymore is a great feeling. When I got my last Taxol infusion on July 8th, it was a huge mental mountain I had gotten to the top of. It’s an odd feeling when you know you don’t have to endure those chemicals anymore. As much as they are needed to kill off any cancer cells that may have been hiding in my system, and I’m grateful to have had all the chemo to attack them, to know you don’t have to subject your body to those chemicals again is a big relief download stranger things. And to not have to deal with the side effects of those chemicals is an even better feeling.
But even though mentally I’m past the chemo, I had to realize, sometimes the hard way, that physically I’m not there yet. Just because the last of the Taxol dripped into my veins about 3 weeks ago doesn’t mean my body is in synch with my mind in recovery. According to my badasses who have come before me, it is going to take a few months before I’ve got my stamina and energy back close to 100% office downloaden gratis.
Which leads me to the reason for this blog and one word that I have had to use more in these past 7 months of treatment than I think I’ve used in my entire life.
“NO.”
During this entire process, from diagnosis to now, there have been things people have asked me to do and I had to say no because there was no other choice and it was physically impossible to do them. Those days when I was flat out on the couch and even answering a phone call would take too much energy you can download facebook videos. Or when going out for a quick lunch would have wiped me out for the rest of the day, or when someone wanted to visit and it meant putting on a smile and the wig for hours longer than I had in me.
And at times I even had to say no to myself. Like when I wanted to try to squeeze in an errand before going into work, but didn’t because I knew it meant being run down by the end of the night wrestling musik kostenlos downloaden. Or the long walk I wanted to try when it was way too hot and muggy. Or thinking just maybe I could work until 1am with the rest of my show team or hang on at the end of a 6 day work week for another 12 hour day when the rug got pulled out from under us by breaking news.
I have to constantly remind myself that my immune system is not where it needs to be and to pull back because doing too much could very easily make me sick or land me back in the hospital memoji stickers. It can be frustrating, but it’s necessary to keep a balance in order to continue to get well.
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And honestly, saying no when you have all those physical limitations is easy. But saying no when you just don’t want to do something, or someone asks you to put their needs over your own is a lot harder. There are thousands of articles from psychologists and spiritual gurus who all share their input on why it is so hard to do.
But here’s what I have learned in the past few months herunterladen. When you are diagnosed with a life threatening illness and you have gone through the process of actually fighting for your life, saying no becomes a lot easier. There is now an immense spiritual power in it.
In the past, I felt like I had to explain why I couldn’t do something. As if just not wanting to do it wasn’t a good enough reason java 32 bit kostenlos downloaden. Almost like I had to have something else going on at the same time and it gave me a reason why I couldn’t do it. I’m sure you all feel the same way sometimes. As if you owe an explanation as to why you can’t do something. I have been there.
Now, I just say no. And here’s what makes it easy for me. When faced with a breast cancer diagnosis, you learn very quickly that no one is promised a full, long life. It now becomes clearer than ever that you don’t know how much time you have here on Earth. And when you beat it through surgery, chemo and radiation, you live the rest of your life wondering, but never knowing, if it will come back.
So every second, every minute and every hour of the day you want to spend doing what you want to be doing. Doing what makes you happy and what honors your own soul. Wasting time doing things you don’t want to do is simply not an option anymore. I am now more than ever aware of time and the inevitable lack thereof.
So please, don’t wait for a life altering event or diagnosis to take inventory of your own daily life. Notice how many times you say yes to something when you really want to say no. How many times do you put the needs of someone else over your own? What are you doing that is taking time away from what you really want to be doing?
None of us knows how long we will have here in our one lifetime. Don’t give up any more of what makes you happy and gives you joy by doing things you don’t want to do.
In other words…start saying yes…to saying no.
Thanks for the words of wisdom. As you pointed out, we seem to spend our lives trying to appease everyone else, often times forgetting about our own needs. I had to chuckle because Bruce tells me all too often that I need to start taking care of myself and not worry so much about everyone else. I find that when I do say “NO”, I feel guilty and then I turn around and end-up doing it. When I do get a day all to myself, I cherish it. Bruce will ask what I did and I tell him that I didn’t do a thing, just relaxed, read, or took a much needed nap.
I think the guilt comes from growing up with parents who never took a day off, even when sick, and from the nuns I had K-12 who brainwashed us into believing that being “lazy” was a sin. Mrs. Ruchala and I speak of that often, the “Catholic Guilt” is what we call it.
I wake each morning thankful for a new day and hoping that before the day ends, I’ve made someone happy, done something nice for someone, or learned at least one new thing. As you said, we never know when life will throw us a curve ball and you inspire me with your determination and your resolve. That’s how I know you’ve got this Deb, you’re strong inside and out, even with the chemicals coursing through your veins, you are still living life.
I pray for you each day and I do believe in the power of prayer.
God Bless!
Mrs. Tebo
Thank you, Mrs. T. I love how happy you are to have made others happy or from doing something nice for someone. That is exactly what it’s about. Do what makes you thrive, don’t sacrifice those things because someone else wants you to do something else. There’s only so much time in your life, don’t waste it doing things you don’t want to! Thank you for the prayers and for all your advice through this and your support, it really means a lot. XOXO
You are an inspiration Deb. I think of you often, and say prayers to help you through these tough times. You inspire me to move forward when things are going tough! Thank you. 💙
Thank you, Jody, I appreciate all your support and prayers. XOXO
Great words of advice! xoxo
Thank you! My two main messages now…GET YOUR MAMMOGRAM and SAY NO. LOL.
Again, superbly written and on point….I look forward to more posts …😊
Thank you, Laura! If only we had learned to say no in college. HA. 🙂 XOXO
Wow. This one hit home as I am a people pleaser but often want to just say no. I will in the future and I am sure I will be better for it. Glad you continue to get better. You are one of a kind. Love ya.
Google saying no. There are all kinds of articles out there and help to learn how to respectfully decline things. It’s awful how much time we spend in our lives doing the things we don’t want to. There’s only so much time, do what fills you and makes you happy. It may even be what someone else wants to do, but if it’s not, then it’s ok to say no. XOXO
Once again a true inspiration, your articles always make me open my eyes to things that we usually take for granted like our time here. When you are a giving person it truly is hard to say no and to jusitfy why you are saying no. I will take your advise and try the me first approach. Know that you are in my thought and prayers daily!
Thank you, Joyce. Definitely make sure you take care of yourself. If you’re empty, there’s nothing to give others when you want to. Every day do what makes you happy and if your gut and your heart aren’t into doing something else – say no. You deserve it. xoxo
Deb, I have been introduced to you thru our mutual friend Amy. I was diagnosed with BC in January and have found your chronicles inspiring. My situation pales to yours but yet there are similarities. Your story took me from a very angry state to being able to appreciate my situation for what it is. I wish you strength of mind and body in going thru your radiation treatments. I used Eucerin cream, Vitamin E, Hydrocortizone cream, everything they say to put on to help with the damage to your skin, it did help. Stay strong and when you can’t, know we are here to help.
Hi Deb, I’m so sorry to hear about your diagnosis, I hope you are doing ok and feeling better. I get the anger, it sucks but like you said, we have to appreciate our situation for what it is and deal with it in the best way possible. Can’t take it away so just have to go through it. Thank you for the advice on the creams, they recommended Eucerin but will use the others too if needed. I appreciate the support and note, thank you! xoxo
come to maine and breath the great air and watch the fall foliage in the fall I will wait on you and pamper you , love you , and give you hugs , let me know if I need to send you a driver to get you here , hugs from Maine
Thank you, Penny. That is very generous, I appreciate it. I’m hoping to take a vacation after radiation, if we head north will definitely let you know! And thank you again for the Joan Lunden book. Completely related to the entire thing. xoxo
Great “words of wisdom.” Very true Deb❤️
XOXO
Beautifully written and so true. xoxo
Thank you, Leslie. See you at radiation! XOXO
When I really began to feel powerful was when I started to do my own research about every single extra side treatment. Just because my pet scan showed a few lit up nodules in my thyroid did not mean they were cancerous according to my oncologist women over 60 frequently have nodules. Thyroid cancer is slow growing. So, I submitted to the endocrinologist’s ultra sound but said, No to the needle biopsy. That was almost 8 years ago and I would say No again. No trouble swallowing, no lumps around thyroid. Sometimes you have to say No, even to the doctors. After all, they are practicing medicine, remember that. They are not God. They can’t heal you with a touch.
Good for you taking control of your own medical care. I totally get that. Glad things are still going well for you! xoxo
Well done, as always! Interesting how your priorities change, huh?
I have added another piece of advice for friends and loved ones. STAY FIT!! When you get a life-threatening diagnosis, you don’t get time to get in shape before beginning treatments. You have to start wherever you are, fight with whatever physical power and strength you have at that moment,
so the fitter, the better!
Yes! You are so right about that. I was lucky, my friend who was my trainer before she moved to California (Meris if you’re reading, thank you again and please move back) was emailing me workouts and I was faithfully doing them and eating well at the same time. Then I got diagnosed and wound up in surgery a few months later and this roller coaster of a ride started. I do believe I was able to get through a lot of this better than I would have because I was physically stronger. And exercise is a big part of fighting recurrence. Slowly but surely I’m getting more energy and will get back out there a little at a time. Good for you! xoxo
You’re now five days in. You may start to feel the fatigue. That’s all I had. With you, lymphatic system might benefit from massage or whatever they suggest to keep them draining and working properly. I am sure things have improved for treating side effects as they are concentrating on that more now and thank God they are. Love is Love is Love as Ro says.
I’m tired for sure, coming off chemo and running around to the appointments every day. From what I’m told the fatigue from radiation kicks in the longer you go for treatment so the next few weeks will be interesting to say the least. xoxo
Week three Wow seems to be going by quickly
Yes, just started week 3. For me it seems to be taking forever, LOL. I think because of all the running there and back, the wait times and checkups with the doctor, the longer appointments for x-rays in addition to treatment, etc. It’s tiring. But by Friday I will be done with week 3 so just trucking along!
You got this. Just 3 more weeks. Wow. Go see Pete’s Dragon. It was so touching. Reminded me to believe. In Magic. Robert Redford. Haven’t seen him in films in a while.
Thanks, Candy! xoxo
Two weeks to go. How are you feeling? Naps are important. The fatigue will go away. I tweeted a funny video with breast cancer chicks. Every night I say your name. It’s my way of validating.
I’m feeling a little tired now, but looking forward to being done! I will check out the video for sure. And thank you! xoxo